Ed Note - This master piece by Mr. Lisboa kind of got buried in the game thread Thursday. Re-posting to ensure it gets the attention it deserves. I think the out come of the game makes it even more relevant. Well done Mike.
With apologies to Henry Livingston, Jr or Clement Clarke Moore, here's a very seasonal preview of the Suns's Christmas Day tilt with the Spurs. Enjoy.
Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout Planet Orange
Everyone was excited, even poor Goran.
The gameplans were made by Coach Porter with care
And Steve Kerr signed a point guard with ‘rows in his hair.
The true fans were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Spur-trouncing danced in their heads.
And Boris with his Dirty and Raja with his ‘tude
Had been shipped off to Charlotte for a long winter brood.
And in their place arrived with such chatter,
J-Rich and Jared (who has yet to matter).
But that new guy Jason can shoot, dunk and slash
Who cares about defense? Certainly not Nash.
But the Spurs were coming, almost at full strength,
They would miss poor Oberto and all of his length.
When Timmy and Tony and Manu appear
The Suns better kick it, and into high gear.
With a slow start, the Spurs looked so old and so sick
But we've seen it before, this same possum trick.
But the Suns know it too, they've seen that old game
And Coach Porter, he lectured and called them by name:
"Now, Stevey! Now, Robin! Now, Shaquille and J-Rich!
LB, Matt and Grant! Sweet Lou, and Dragic!
You won't learn my system, not a bit, not all!
So bombs away! Bombs away! Bombs away all!"
In Terry's slow vision, the Suns, they had struggled
D'Antoni's boys had gone from magic to muggled.
At last he relented and loosened the reins
And poof! - disappeared those growing pains.
And then up in Portland, the Suns found the fun
The passing and shooting, that old run and gun.
Though Brandon went off and the Suns they were downed,
You couldn't help but think, "Have they turned it around?"
There is much work to be done, they haven't quite gelled;
And those questions on defense? They're still not disspelled.
So the Spurs come to town to give them a test
With apologies to the Lakers, they own the West.
So old Shaq must be aggressive, bodying Tim
And ensuring his foul shots don't clank off the rim.
Grant Hill somehow must contain Manu Ginobili
And Steve Nash must take charges, however ignobly.
J-Rich needs to find his man on rotation
And LB needs to play without consternation:
That little Brazilian, I've never understood
Why sometimes he looks scared, just petrified like wood.
Matt Barnes and his tats are a poor man's Shawn Marion
But I like his style as long as his 3s he's a-buryin'.
Fropez and Sweet Lou better clear those darn boards
Cuz these Spurs rebound, and collect them in hoards.
I hope Dee Brown's ready, poor Goran is not:
Send him to Iowa to work on his shot.
And fro-hawked Amare should play with some fire;
His hot and cold act is sure growing tired.
So tune in on Thursday, it's gonna be a blast,
And hopefully the Suns will be left standing at last,
For a yuletide Suns win would allow me to yell:
"Happy Christmas to all! (May the Spurs rot in hell.)"