FanPost

Pistons, Heat resting their starters

Rest or Rust?

This crucial end-of-season riddle perplexes coaches, fans and pundits alike.  

However, two teams at the opposite ends of the Eastern conference standings have come to the same conclusion: Rest.

For the Pistons it was no April Fool's day joke that Chauncey Billups (just what kind of name is that?), Rip Hamilton and Rasheed Wallace would fake injuries at GM genius Joe Dumar's request.  

However, it was a cruel April Fool's day joke for the Minnesota Timberwolves, who thought for three quarters that they had a snowball's chance in hell of beating the Pistons.  Their sorry franchise lost to the Pistons "B" squad, 94-90.  

"Well, you know, Prince should be an all-star," complained one Timberwolves starter who wouldn't even make the Pistons deep bench rotation.  

"You know how people always say some good team's bench player would be a starter on most other teams?" said a conference scout, "Well, that's just homerism.  However, in this case, it's absolutely and pathetically true."

Meanwhile, at the far end of the conference standings, the Miami Heat were also resting their starters.  (They are also repeatedly resting their coach, who suffers mightily on the bench watching his team flounder on the court.)  

Unfortunately, unlike the lauded Pistons, this team is being persecuted for its wise choice to rest important starters.  

"They say we're tanking.  Do you say the Pistons are tanking?  We are resting our starters for critical upcoming games next season." said Dwayne Wade as Florida witch doctors and perverts attached electrodes to his gluteus maximus.

"If we were tanking, we would be resting me and playing LVP Marcus Banks 48 minutes," argued the diminished Ricky Davis, who lost a few more tail feathers thanks to disses by former teammate Shaquille O'Neal.

"Heh, I don't know man, I don't know man." responded gravely injured Heat forward Shawn Marion as he hopped, skipped and jumped his way to his car in the parking lot.

Strangely, despite the media's disparate response to the two teams' identical approach to the post-season, fans of both teams appeared to be equally elated by their teams' decision.

"This is a great opportunity to develop our bench." said a Pistons fan.

"We have five rookies so I would love to see them all on the court together! I hope we can see more play from them, especially Daequan Cook!" cheered a Heat fan.  

"We're resting our starters because we are in a good position.  We just want to maintain our position in the standings." explained GM genius Joe Dumars.

"We're resting our starters because we are in a good position.  We just want to maintain our position in the [draft] standings." explained one-time Showtime fashion plate Pat Riley.

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