In shocking news, broken orignally by Ted Bauer of ESPN, the SUNS franchise was shaken today when Nash, Shaq, Bell and Hill were traded for Nickelodean's Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex.   The article also has video of the new starting lineup doing Amare's "Amare Dribble Dancey Dance."

"NBA rules did not require the salaries to match in this trade, because it did not involve another NBA team.  Although Nickelodean is clearly in the entertainment business as is the NBA, they are considered a different league," informed GM Steve Kerr.

"With this trade, we can further build around Amare," explained a jubilant Head Coach Terry Porter.  "These guys could be good. If not, I don't see why we couldn't start Dragic, Lopez and Barnes.  Amare's so good it doesn't matter who else is on the team anyway."

"The trade makes us a lot younger and the Nick Jr. contracts are a fraction of the cost of the $48 million we just sent out.  We need to clear space anyway to sign Amare to his upcoming super duper mondo cap-killing contract." said President Rick Welts.  "Besides, with Hill out of the way, I think my homeboy Barnes may be able to beat out Brobee for the starting small forward position.  I have a huge man-crush on him and that was my main intent in this trade.  Getting younger and saving $50 million are just icing on the cake."

Owner Robert Sarver broke it down this way: "We just want to put a good product on the floor.  Our focus groups said we were not appealing to the 5-and-under fans.  If we get that market, we also get the parents and a ton of extra merchandising in McDonald's Happy Meals, Suns Saturday morning cartoons and the Nick Jr. cast would be great for the upcoming All-Star game we host this season."

"Besides, it's not like we were going to win with those old guys anyway.  At least this way, we put a colorful, entertaining and intergalactically multiracial team on the floor that will entertain viewers.  Our partners at TNT, ESPN, ABC and the local stations couldn't be more pleased." concluded Sarver.

"Dealing with injuries for these monsters is really easy, actually." according to Head Trainer Aaron Nelson, "They are like the Gorilla.  If Foofa is injured, we can just overnight Stephon Marbury, ask him to put on the Foofa costume, and run him out there at game time.  No one would know the difference," he paused,  "...except that Foofa is a team player."

Assistant Coach Dan Majerle will assigned to whipping Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee and Plex into game shape.  We caught up with him drinking in the afternoon with several under age girls at a bar downtown.  "I'm excited.  This is what I do.  I was a tough player.  I'm gonna be tough on these guys.  I'm gonna get Charles Barkley in here to stick an elbow into their throats and push them around.  He's gonna really Barneyfy these guys."

Calls to dejected Steve Nash, Raja Bell, Grant Hill and Shaq were not initially returned.  Their pissy press agents mentioned Europe, Russia, Canada, The Dutch Antilles and Panama as possible destinations for the one-time starters of an NBA elite team. Nash's agent apoplectically lamented that this was not how the 2-time MVP's career should end.  "It's not even f***ing Sesame Street!" we heard the agent complain.

Executives at Nickelodean, however, remained quite confident that they would see the players in their new teletubbie uniforms and ready for the new TV shoots by next week.  "For US$20MM, we think we can get the Big Ham Shaq to do just about anything.  He's already teaching kids about internet safety anyway.  This just allows him to do it full-time.  He may not be a sheriff, but he can play one on tv, provided he wears this teletubbie outfit" said one 21 year old TV exec with a jaded giggle.  (We were later told that the guffaws, snickers and unusually loud snorts we heard in the background of the conference call were about an unrelated thing.)

Hill's agent was more philosophical, "I don't give a damn if Grant has to prance around in tights with Strawberry Shortcake - I still get paid the same." he said. "Serves Grant right, he should've taken more money when he had the chance. I gotta a family to feed."

The players do have to complete an intensive physical examination by Nickelodean school nursing team, however. "We don't want them to catch a cold on their first day of shooting." said one unregistered nurse.

There's an added bonus to the deal.  MVP Hopeful Amare Stoudemire said, "They even gave us spare costumes.  So we have backups!"