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You people suck. Hard!

Until midnight people. Today. AZ Time. DO IT! DO IT NOW!

Before Christmas I tried to give away two tickets to a Suns game which came included and packaged with FREE T-SHIRTS.

All you people had to do was a simple lousy 140 character "essay" about the Suns.

That's 140 CHARACTERS. Not Words. Not Pages. Not sentences. 140 CHARACTERS.

You people blew it. No one. Not one single one of you could get off your collective lazy asses and type 140 characters. I write 140 characters before you sorry sacks of cow dung have crawled out of your momma's warm bed in the morning and put on your McUniform!

You make me want to PUKE! (btw - this youtube vid proves once again why the Internets aren't going away)

But it is a New Year and you get another chance. So bring it people!

You can do it. Put U back into it!

 

 

Star-divide

Here's the VERY SIMPLE RULES

Here's How You Win

  • Twitter is a 140 character haiku like medium
  • This is a sarcastic blog dedicated to the Suns
  • You craft a 140 charater sarcastic essay on What the Suns Need to Do to Win the Ring
  • Submit your 140 Character essay in the comments of this story by midnight on December 24th January 7th.

 

Santa I will judge the entries and the winner will get....

Two Tickets to the Suns Tweetup!

which now ALSO includes some special alone time with Mr. Moron Genius himself!

Tweetup_medium

 

0 recs | Comment 35 comments

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I DON"T SUCK!

What do the Suns need to do for a ring…hmmm…let me think… Go back in time and trade Stoudemire for Kevin Garnett. Worked for the C’s!

by watdogg10 on Jan 5, 2009 4:58 PM MST reply reply actions actions   1 recs

always have been

even though many here weren’t for that, and are only now being awakened

by be-the-ball on Jan 5, 2009 5:05 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hey phoenix stan

I’m in Dallas, not much I can do, but what date is the game? I am in Phoenix 1/12 – 1/17

thanks…ps I have never been to a Mavs game, and it’d take someone like Lebron being on the Mavs for that to change.

by be-the-ball on Jan 5, 2009 5:06 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

my entry.

i even opened up a twitter account, just for this. i meant to do it before the last one, but by the time i got around to it, the date had already passed.

here it is: http://twitter.com/iamtrevorpaxton

by iamtrevorpaxton on Jan 5, 2009 5:41 PM MST reply reply actions actions   1 recs

You don't need

a Twitter account to play…or go to the game…or anything

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 5, 2009 6:14 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i know.

but it’s a good excuse to get off my lazy butt and finally open one.

by iamtrevorpaxton on Jan 6, 2009 1:43 AM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nice - reposting for the none twitter types
To win it all, the Suns must mediate “undeniably one of the most talented” and “tough to stay motivated”. Yes, Amar’e, this one’s for you.

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 5, 2009 6:28 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Btw - you all can vote too

Just “rec up” those that you like. Chaos rules so vote often.

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 5, 2009 6:29 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

What the Suns have to do to win "The Ring"

In short, we do what championship teams do. More elaboratively:

1) Have a well-defined pecking order in the team: Amare is our “the man”, Run Pick ‘n Rolls for him at least 20 times per game.
2) Maintain a harmonic balance between front office, coaching staff, and the players: This can be done by running post plays for Amare at least 20 times per game so Steve Kerr feels respected, and running the Flip Saunders offense at least 20 times per game so Terry Porter feel valued.
3) Bringing the most out of our personale: Jason Richardson is an amazingly exciting player and should do the between-the-legs dunk in at least 10 times per game. Steve Nash needs to be checked every 5 seconds to make sure he is not trapped in a sandwich bag.
4) Develop young talent: Give Dragic and Fropez consistent playing time, like 42 minutes per game.
5) Draft wisely: make sure we grab the Ginobilis and the Boozers in the 2nd round when they are there, or 3 million cash in the first round when they are there.
6) Team Chemistry: Make sure players have intimate bonds with each other, so Shaq won’t have to question 4 years down the road whether his current teammates know how his ass tastes.

by gadogry on Jan 5, 2009 7:36 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I am not sure

but that might be more then 140 characters. Can you pare down and resubmit?

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 5, 2009 7:45 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oops

I thought it was “at least” 140 chars. My bad.

And I’ll probably find it hard to express myself coherently and somewhat completely in 140 chars…

by gadogry on Jan 5, 2009 8:18 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My submission.

41 years is way too long. Recipe: Remove ex-Bulls and bankers. Throw in a clothesline and Nash’s ’96 locks. Stir. In seven seconds. Or less.

by DerekDC on Jan 6, 2009 4:19 PM MST reply reply actions actions   1 recs

Sunsational!!!

I could give you a long drawn out 1400 word essay about the Suns and what they mean to me but it would take away from some serious study time I need for a test for my job (or I wouldn’t be able to buy tickets in the future).

The reason I’ve always been a Suns fan is because unlike other teams they don’t have that “thuggish” image that really taints what the NBA unfortunately has become in some markets. If you look at our team, not only do we have GRADE A talent but you have a real class act with the players we do have. Shaq, Nash, Stat, Hill to name a few all have donated time, money and effort into many charitable organizations… not because they are mandated to, but because the genuinly like to give back to the less fortunate, children, elderly or even third world countries. To me, anything after that is a plus, but being a person that is making the most of their “fame” is the #1 reason I love the Suns. Suns fans don’t realize how fortunate we are to have a team like this.

If you knew me in person, you’d say I’m a “fanatic” because of all the Suns gear I own… I’ve been to Ring of Honor inductions for Majerle, Barkley, and Cotton (R.I.P.) and will never forget that magical ride of 92-93. I look at the current roster of players whom I loved to watch through the last 15+ (Hill and Shaq) and how instrumental those two players were in transitioning the NBA from the Magic/Jordan/Bird era to what the NBA is now (and have now passed the torch onto Stat, King James, Dunca…etc) as they begin to fade into their twilight. I’ve loved Nash since he was first drafted by the Suns and was ecstatic when he returned (thank god we didn’t sign Kobe that summer). I remember going to one of the first games Stat played in and how raw his talent was then and how far he’s come now… even after his knee surgeries.

This team has all the experience, knowledge and grit it’s going to take to win the title… that is if David Stern doesn’t get in the way again.

by Kryptonic on Jan 6, 2009 7:43 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

that's great and all

and I am all about taking the kids to the game. In fact I am taking my boy to this one. But the contest is 140 characters. Only 140 characters.

There’s still time to try again!

Thanks

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 6, 2009 8:32 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ps.....

Plus, winning the tickets would mean my 4 year old could go to his second game….. (check my profile pic…. could you say no to a face like that..lol).

by Kryptonic on Jan 6, 2009 7:52 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I cant go to the game, but in the spirit of fun, heres my submission

realise that noone thinks we can and turn that into motivation and show some heart and fire!

by SDU on Jan 7, 2009 3:45 AM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Don't sell all your friggin draft picks

But thanks anyway.

Signed, Kevin Pritchard, Danny Ainge, John Paxson.

by Norsktroll on Jan 7, 2009 3:12 PM MST reply reply actions actions   1 recs

No one has won

Still accepting responses until Midnight then judging will begin.

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 7, 2009 3:47 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My Submission

To Nash & Shaq: Embrace your inner role player. With pride and humility accept Black Jesus as your Savior. Make him who he needs to be.

by bangbang240 on Jan 7, 2009 3:54 PM MST reply reply actions actions   1 recs

oooh

that’s a good one. Pity. On topic. And agrees w/ what I think the Suns need to do…

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 7, 2009 4:54 PM MST to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I won't be in AZ for the game but can never resist a good limmerick-opportunity

There once was a shogun named Shaq
His weakness was always the hack
But he worked off his butt
Showed Amare what’s what
And now carries the Suns on his back

*an alternate final line:
If you vote for Yao Ming you are whack

by yanyanman2 on Jan 7, 2009 10:53 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Alright, here's my submission...

Who are the Suns? We still don’t know.
Steve Kerr, former Spur? Maybe friend, maybe foe.
But one more thorn at the final horn,
and it’s off the ledge I’ll have to go!

by Silkster on Jan 7, 2009 10:57 PM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Great stuff all

I will put all the submissions together and either announce a winner if there’s a clear cut leader or prehaps throw up a poll of finalists if its close.

Stayed tuned. Nice recovery from the lazy ass sorry sacks of cow dung

by Phoenix Stan on Jan 8, 2009 7:55 AM MST reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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