King of the Trade Machine - The Contest

by Seth Pollack on Feb 10, 2009 8:55 AM MST

Let's make a deal. Literally. Make a deal and win free stuff...

Prize = two tickets (or a donation in your name) to:

Phoenix US Twestival 2009

On February 12, 2009, Twestival will happen in 175+ cities around the world to bring together Twitter communities for an evening of fun and to raise money and awareness for charity: water.

Twestival is organized 100% by volunteers and 100% of the money raised goes directly to support charity: water projects. charity: water rings clean, safe sustainable drinking water solutions to people in developing nations.

Our goal as a city is to raise $4,000, enough to build a well.

100% of the proceeds from these sales will go to charity: water.

Charity_wwd_medium

Show us your Mad Trade Machine Skilz and win!

Using the ESPN Trade Machine concoct the wackiest trade you can put together that meets the following parameters:

It works (as in the trade machine approves your deal)
The more players and teams the better
Bonus for it having some semblance of sense for all parties
Being "realistic" also counts for something
The Suns must be one of the trading parties
In the comments post your entry with a link to the trade machine results and a brief description of the trade showing which players are going where.
Deadline for entries is midnight AZ time on Wednesday Feb 11

You do not have to be present to win. If you can't attend the event. You can receive equivalent value in raffle tickets.

Extra bonus points if you donate to this great charity anyway just because you are decent human being or you are trying to bribe Karma. I really don't care what your motivation is as long as you cough up some dollars to save people lives

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The Worst Trade Ever

This seems to me to be the worst trade ever, especially if you live in Texas. And since at this point I hate everything about basketball that is not Nicolas Batum, it’s what I’m offering.

The Suns get Bowen, Duncan, Ginobili, Parker, Oberto, and LaFrentz so that Kerr can just finally be honest and literally turn the Suns into “Spurs West.”

The remaining SSOL Suns (Nash, Barbosa, and A’’’’e) go to the Lakers, so we can watch them run again for Lakers.

Kobe and Shaq are united in SA along with Gasol, Farmar, and Grant Hill, so not only do the Spurs start to dominate the headlines (glamorous Spurs?) they’ll probably dominate the league as well (or at least still be better than the Suns). Thus I still get to have obnoxious Spurs fans tell me why I can’t handle playoff basketball.

Last, Kevin Pritchard sticks his nose in the trade for no reason and everyone pays him 9M dollars to trade Lafrentz’s expiring contract for Lamar Odom’s expiring contract. Pritchslapped again!

This is my hell.

Purchasing my Dragic jersey

by rosewood on Feb 9, 2009 2:50 AM MST reply actions

Dude, you are back

And your trade is hell.

"Basketball doesn't build character. It reveals it"

by PanamaSun on Feb 9, 2009 7:44 AM MST up reply actions

is it as crazy as this???

And it even helps all the teams… to some extent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj8DgWnbVng&feature=bz303
MVP *** MVP *** MVP
I've never scored more than 38 ..... not even in Little League.

by Portland89 on Feb 11, 2009 11:11 PM MST up reply actions

Holy hell!

This is going to be hard to beat!!!

Hope law school is going well for you btw

Blogging Suns Basketball

by Seth Pollack on Feb 9, 2009 10:57 AM MST up reply actions

No wonder he wasn't posting

He’s eating books! I’ve been there man. Best of luck.

"Basketball doesn't build character. It reveals it"

by PanamaSun on Feb 9, 2009 1:23 PM MST up reply actions

Thx Guys

Yeah, school/swamped has had me so swamped lately that I’ve just been lurking around the blog. Then for some reason I had some time this morning, read the contest, and thought it would be the perfect time to vent some of my clearly shared frustration with the new identity-less Suns.

I’m still around though, lost behind a large meal of books.

Purchasing my Dragic jersey

by rosewood on Feb 9, 2009 9:55 PM MST up reply actions

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/features/traderesult?players=1727~3058~1724~3235&teams=8~21~21~21&te=&cash=21:8

amare is traded to the pistons for tayshaun prince, rodney stuckey and walter hermann + 1st round draft pick. we get a very good defender we can play at power forward (undersized, yes, but what about all this talk of shaq clogging the lane, a skinny prince would fit. :D) , a good point guard in rodney stuckey which we can use as nash’s backup and will actually be the long term replacement of nash. walter hermann is just there to make the pieces fit, his contract expires this year anyway. draft pick, probably around number 20, could be good. as for why the pistons would do this? they would be championship contenders next yr. amare at power forwarD? the only thing they would lack would prolly be a point guard (having traded away stuckey) but dont you think they could easily sign one, what with AI’s expiring 21 million dollar contract coming into play? not to mention, prince’s contract, which goes on past 2010, comes off the books for them.

by ryansunsfan on Feb 9, 2009 5:45 AM MST reply actions

Be very careful when you invoke my inner Bill Simmons

4-team trade, Pistons-Sixers-Heat-Suns. Let me list the outgoing/incoming players (or entities, since cash is involved) of each team, and the the “expert analysis” on this trade. The Trade Machine links are at the end.

Pistons
Outgoing: Allen Iverson, Kwame Brown, Sheed, Cash x 2
Incoming: JRich, Shaq, Barbosa

JRich cannot be combined with another player in trades, so he goes in a separate deal, straight up with Sheed (and cash!!). Now Det upgrades from Sheed to Shaq, while boosting a guard rotation of Stuckey, JRich, Barbosa and Hamilton. Suns fans rejoice as Sheed comes to the desert and punches Porter in the face everyday. The Suns also get the immortal Kwame Brown plus TWO dozes of cash considerations from Pistons.

Sixers:
Outgoing: Andre Miller, Theo Ratliff, Cash
Incoming: Steve Nash, Alando Tucker

Since Elton Brand is out for the season, the 76ers can go back to being the running team that they really are… and who can run it up better than Nash? Plus, the 76ers desperately need someone who can hit 3’s, and Nash is a huge upgrade there too. Tucker is sort of a throw-in, but he may actually get to start right away if Philly suddenly realize (after 4 years) that Wille Green is not an NBA player.

Suns get a half-decent point gaurd in Miller who may or may not turn the ball over, plus we get the legendary Theo Ratliff’s Expiring Contract. It doesn’t bring as much thunder as it did last season, but it sure is expiring again this season.

And of course the Sixers have to send some cold hard cash to compensate for the disparity of the talent levels of the players being swapped.

Heat:
Outgoing: Shawn Marion, Cash
Incoming: Amare, Dragic, Fropez

The Heat upgrade from Matrix to Amare. Since Beasley is their 4 of the future, they can just continue to pretend that Amare is a centre and stick him there. The Heat will end up with 16 players under contract and will have to cut somebody, but when you upgrade THAT much in talent you don’t worry about these things. While Dragic and Fropez aren’t All NBA 1st team (or even All Rookie 1st team) material, they are easily better than any of the point gaurds/centres they currently have.

The Suns get to get rid of Amare the half-man half-althete half-Gorilla half-whiner, and the burdersome contracts of Dragic and Fropez. I don’t know if the Matrix can still play, but if he decides to retire after this season, he’ll be retiring as a Sun, which sort of increases the likelihood of getting his jersey retired here. He may enjoy these things.

And of course the Suns need to get cash in this deal too.

Suns:
Outgoing: Everyone (to be precise, Nash, Amare, Shaq, JRich, Barbosa, Dargic, Fropez, Tucker)
Incoming: Shawn Marion, Sheed, Allen Iverson, Andre Miller, Kawme Brown, Theo Ratliff, cash x 4 (!!)

This may be the biggest mid-season shakeup in the league’s history. The Suns will end up with a rotation of

Gaurds: Andre Miller, Allen Iverson
Forwards: Hill, Marion, Dudley,Barnes
Bigs: Sheed, Amundson Ratliff, Brown

We’ll need to sign a couple guys from the D-league to give us enough number of warm bodies… but that’s secondary. The point is this:

The Suns will become the Phoenix All-Expiring Contracts!!

The team will be scheduled to have ZERO payroll next season, which may help Sarver

1. Save money,
2. Sell the team,
3. Put himself on the roster if he decides to play next season,

…among other things.

Plus, since literally everyone is in a contract year, there’s no way they’d not play to 130% of their capabilities, so our chances of winning a championship this year can only go up after the trade, because it’s like zero right now.

And if Kerr’s negotiating skills is as good as advertised, this super mega trade can get us (well, Sarver) four times 3 million. For the mathematically challenged, that’s twelve freaking million dollars. Although with that money you can only sign Marbury to a couple 10-day contracts nowadays, but it counts for something.

Links of the two-part trade:

The big one:

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/features/traderesult?players=98136651021663423344759261417273238557687&teams=2121218141420814202121&te=&cash=21:821:1421:20

The JRich-for-sheed “sidedeal”

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/features/traderesult?players=1018883&teams=821&te=&cash=21:8

Too much fun!

And for some reason, I think the Suns are going to do an even worse job than this trade in reality.

by gadogry on Feb 9, 2009 6:56 AM MST reply actions 1 recs

Damn, I should have spell-checked this.

by gadogry on Feb 9, 2009 7:16 AM MST up reply actions

holy cow that is awesome

Want more aggressiveness? Try less Baylesslessness.

by prezofdeath on Feb 14, 2009 10:27 AM MST up reply actions

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/features/traderesult?players=242749734553041176561417272387172529871977201032492790&teams=2128282828289928212121920&te=&cash=

Definetely a good deal for the Suns, who are going to be explosive offensively with Bosh, and get some defensive help from Biedrins. Amare is going to fit well to the offensive minded Warriors (although their defense will suck even more). Raptors get a good scorer on Maggette, Shaq who’s having a great season and very young and talented Randolph. Philadelphia was just thrown in there to “sweeten” the deals.

My body might be in Greece, but my mind and my heart is in Arizona. When the heck will I visit the Desert?

by Giannaros on Feb 9, 2009 10:22 AM MST reply actions

Here you go...

Check this one out.

The Suns get a big man to fill Amare’s spot (who doesn’t need to score 26 points a game), a backup PG, another athletic big and save LOTS of coin in the process. Does either team say no to this?

by watdogg10 on Feb 10, 2009 2:52 PM MST reply actions