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We Are Sorry Robert, Life Get's Better, Really!


It has been reported that the Suns were one of seven NBA teams to be hit with the luxury tax. While $4.9 million is an unfathomable amount of money to you and I, to a nice, big sports franchise like the Suns you'd think it would be a drop in the bucket. Still, it's an increase from last year's nearly $3.86 million. And for the return he has received on his investment, one must think today is not a good day for Robert Sarver.

Do you all think he's having a bad day? I do. So I'd like to be the first to offer a letter of encouragement as well as a nice phony apology. Join me?


Dear Bob:

Heard you got hit by the old LT train. It sucks, I know. $5 million is a lot of money to pay on top of that ghastly payroll you're stuck with for a team that didn't even make the playoffs! I know you've got your finger on a few buttons right now:  the blow up the roster button, the increase beer and ticket prices button, the burn down US Airways Arena for the Insurance money and excuse to move the team to San Diego button, and maybe the let's blame Mike D'Antoni, Joe Johnson, Amare Stoudamire, and David Stern button. PLEASE DON'T! Remember, you are a millionaire many times over-you can afford this, and you are a U of A alumni. Wildcats don't run, they Bear Down!

As a member of your team's fan base, I want to apologize and ask you kindly to step away from your destruction controls for a moment. Let's think before we do any more damage. How about a nice cup of cocoa, maybe a Sponge Bob and Square Pants cartoon marathon, and then  maybe play with our legos!? Doesn't that sound more fun than destroying any more of an NBA franchise? Oh and lastly, maybe send a little email to your best friend Stevie and tell him to make a move or two that will help make the Phoenix Suns a Western Conference Championship contender again. Maybe you can suggest he start by picking up a young, talented center, since we really don't have one now.

All Apologies to you and yours, Bob.

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Yes Mr. Sarver, we are all overcome with remorse.

I will now go commit seppuku for dishonoring your most wise and omnipotent self.

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."-George W. Bush

by Diosnomeama on Jul 8, 2009 11:28 AM MDT reply actions  

He's confused

With all those buttons, he doesnt know which one(s) to push

by KnowGood on Jul 8, 2009 12:21 PM MDT reply actions  

Sigh

“Lookie here! I just earned enough destruction points to unlock the blame Shaq button!!”

Seriously, should we be happy that at least he’s not Donald Sterling? If you rank Sarver among all team owners, where does he come in?

Maybe we were just spoiled by Jerry Colangelo and now struggle to accept anything less.

With the 14th pick of the 2009 NBA draft, the Pheonix Suns select... 3 million dollars!

by gadogry on Jul 8, 2009 3:26 PM MDT reply actions  

He’s definitely not a Donald Sterling. It just irritates me that I have to hear Bob complain. No one wants to pay any kind of tax, but suck it up, you are rich, you own the team, you want a winner, and it costs money to win.

It isn’t the fan’s problem. Get us a team worth watching and we’ll spend our money-on tickets and jersies, and that extra $8 beer at the game.

by RD74 on Jul 8, 2009 3:40 PM MDT up reply actions  

And things are looking even Brighter!

by Wil Cantrell on Jul 8, 2009 11:48 PM MDT reply actions  

haha!

Who are these guys again?

by ZonaFlash on Jul 9, 2009 1:03 PM MDT reply actions  

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