FanPost

Third Quarter Quotes with BBGF and Co.

 

Location:

Casey Jones’ Bar and Grill (32nd Street and Bell Road – about a million miles away from where I live). Back table, huge big screen (not HD, boo hiss) all to ourselves. It’s a Packers bar, so there was really no fanfare. Upside: better service, easier to concentrate. Downside:  comrades would not stop talking about football.

 

In Attendance:

Friends Erik, Josh and Jeremy (you might remember Erik as my “basketball boyfriend” from earlier FanPosts) and random patrons of the bar.

 

Note to readers – this is extremely disjointed and random at parts, but amusing if you’re really bored…

Third Quarter Quotes from Around the Table:

                            

Erik – “Boise State freakin’ Broncos! I’m one of maybe two fans.”

Josh – “Boise State is tearing sh** apart right now.”

Erik – “They’re the best team in college football. The BCS computer hates them.”

Josh – “When do they play Notre Dame?”

Erik – “They don’t play Notre Dame because Notre Dame won’t play them.”

Elle – “Here we are in the 3rd quarter and it’s still all about football.”

Elle – “And Jeremy burps with all the luster of a man who has just enjoyed…how many chicken wings did you eat? Twelve. Twelve to himself.”

Jeremy – “And I had some celery. I want a sandwich.”

Elle – Would you like some fries?”

Jeremy – “I’ll help you out.”

Elle – “Look at this Erik. Let’s focus. It’s the first game.”

Erik – “I had to kill innocent animals first. One of them was talking sh** on me.”

Elle – “Ooh, there they go again with that backwards…all right, all right REBOUND! I Love Lopez’s big-ass arms.”

Erik – “Money!”

All – “Oh!!!” (J Rich, again)

Elle – “It’s like tit for tat since the game began. Oh my God, you gotta love that man.”

Erik – “That’s one of our six offensive rebounds all season right there.”

Elle – “Dude, this game is stamped with his name all over now.”

Erik – “Well he knows that’s what he has to do. That was flat…”

Elle – “It was a good way to keep it on the inside though.”

Erik – “Greg Oden’s penis made an assist.”

Elle – “Oh! Sorry buddy. He…he…he just got in the way! It’s his own fault. He knows how he feels, he’s been beaten up before.” (looked like Nash gave Miller a shot to the head)

Erik – “Oh, he looked at Medusa’s eyes!”

Jeremy – “Yeah, way to go Nash.”

Erik – “Let them shoot that all day. Push off the left hand! Oh you dumb ba**rd, you just fouled.”

Elle – “Let them shoot it all day because…”

Erik – “Hakim Warrick looks like Randy Moss.”

Elle – “He was, like, sliding into home. That was an interesting play. There are other people on the other side that you might want to take a look at.”

Elle – “Without Amare? I was waiting. I was waiting for them to say something about that.”

Erik – “Dragic detonates!”

Elle – “That’s what they get for saying the name we must not mention.”

Erik – “What, the Seattle Sonics?”

Elle – “Ha! Yeah, no, Amare. I hate how people are like, the Suns are sh** without Amare (I say this in a weird manly voice)…I say Amare was sh** without the Suns. Second of all…he went to the Knicks!”

Josh – “Knicks!” (says this with a very funny accent…like “gniyicks” or something)

Erik – “They’re going to be better.”

Josh – “I know you guys don’t like it, but that was nice.” (Portland scores)

Elle – “That was called prestidigitation. Slight of the hand.”

Erik – “You need to hit somebody right there. And the Suns still need to get that bad boy image.”

Erik – “Nice defense by…Nash? Wow. Now we have nobody to rebound.”

Elle – “Nobody to rebound…they were, like, there’s no way.”

Erik – “And One! I guarantee you Hill heard that go in.”

Elle – “How did my beer get so warm? Oh Roy…”

Josh – “Steve Nash kinda looks like Freddy Kruger.”

Elle – “He looks…a little haggered. He’s okay with that, though.”

Erik – “Have you ever seen that Just for Men commercial? He’s trying to keep it professional, you know, but cool. You know, if you have normal colored hair…one color, no one’s going to hire you because you don’t have the experience.”

Elle – “Oh my God, J Rich owns Portland.”

(Everyone claps really loud; we take note of our clapping styles)

Josh – “Dude, I’ve had the clap since I was a kid.”

Erik – “Well that’s wonderful…you probably shouldn’t have made out with your babysitter.”

Elle – “Come on, this is Portland, not LA. Warrick! And his yellow teeth?”

Erik – “Crack is a horrible drug.”

Elle – “Dude. So is Captain Crunch Berry…he might need to cut back on the cereal intake.”

Erik – “Oh I’m stoked that peanut butter cups are in the final four of candy on azcentral.com right now. It’s the final four. Butterfinger is going against Starburst. Then you got Peanut Butter cups going against candy corn. Peanut Butter cups is going to the finals. They will win the championship. When I saw the original bracket I’m like, I got my money on peanut butter cups.”

Jeremy – “There was a bracket?”

Erik – “Yeah dude, I follow March Madness like crazy even when it’s in October and based on candy. Smarties got a horrible run. They had to play Starburst the first round. I felt so bad. I wish they had a better number. I think they ended up with the twelfth seed. I think the regular season was a little bit weak. They didn’t win their pack of sugar…ten…championship. Butterfinger walked into the final four. A head to head match-up with Snickers...”

Josh – “But, if you’re hungry why wait?”

Erik – “I voted on that crap. Multiple times.”

Elle – “Nash D tv…”

Erik – “Nash is getting angry. I like to see this.”

Elle – “Yeah, yell at them. Those lazy punks.”

Erik – “Something needs to happen here.”

Elle – “I know it’s like…someone fart!”

Erik – “That might work.”

Elle – “Oh, Nash farted! He farted out that whole thing. Roy, sit down.”

Erik – “No! Stop forcing passes! Yes! Dudley and all three of his shots. JYD!”

Erik – “That was a Brett Farve pass. You better be limping at the end of that. The chair got it.”

Erik – “Hakim Warrick has always had a good free throw, even when he was in Syracuse.”

Elle – “Wooo! Very good, Frye. Hello. Final seconds in the third.”

Erik – “We had a great third quarter. I think it was because of my Buck Hunter skills that fired up the Suns. They were like, man, look at that guy. He killed the twelve point buck.”

Elle – “Fourth quarter is the worst. Come on guys.”

Erik – “All right we need a three, a foul, a three, a foul, a three, a foul…and then we win!”

Jeremy – “So you’re saying there’s a chance…”

Erik – “If you’re going to start watching basketball you’re going to have to learn to take a shot to the heart.”

Elle – “This is a long way from over.”

Erik – “We can go 81 and 1.”

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