Okay, so that was a little arrogant to suggest that I am either a) known to the rest of you, or at lea st known enoughthat you missed me or b) that anyone cares.
But it's tough if you don't know me or care about me because this is a fan site and I am a fan and I will write what I like.
Look, I know that the Suns get over looked and underrated.
But I've never been that bothered about that. I always figure that it gives you a chance to prove everyone wrong and it means you can sneak up on people.
And that's why I've never brought it up before. That is, until now as I was reminded of this fact within the last 24 hours and it got me to thinking in the shower (I do my best thinking in the shower). I was thinking about the Suns impending season opener as I poured my FCUK shower gel onto my already wet hands. I brought them up to my chest, brushing them slowly over my pecs. I could feel my nipples harden as I massaged the foaming gel into my skin, knowing that my hard work out only moments earlier, had toned up my already Herculian physique...
...sorry, I write Mills and Boon (google it) in my spare time and sometimes I slip back into the habit.
Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, my nipples were hard and I was thinking about the NBA. All of that is completely normal.
There is nothing to fear this season. Our squad, although much changed, is better. There is a deeper pool of talent. Gone is the wantaway Amare (yeah, I left the apostrophe out because I hate him). LB left, which would have mattered 3 years ago but his production last year was below par at best. Lou went as well, which still hurts but I've been reassured others will fill his hole quite easily (sorry, slipped back into sex writing again).
We've got the deepest roster, the most versatile players and possibly one of the best chemistrys heading into the 2010/11 season, so what's to be afraid of?
Need clarification? Fine.
The East coast has taken talent from the west and it hasn't been replaced adequately, thus making our more regular opponents, weaker.
Coaching changes aplenty in the West - but are any of them worth being scared about? Are any coaches worthy of fear?!
Dallas - Kidd is older, Marion isn't getting any better, they're coming off a first round exit at the hands of San An, so is there anything to be worried about?
Denver - Carmelo wants out, no-one knows whether Coach Karl's health will be good for the whole year, so is there anything to be worried about?
Golden State - They've possibly improved slightly but it's still Golden State. Enough said. So is there anything to be worried about?
Houston - Like Golden State, they might be slightly improved from last year but so much hinges on Yao and his health and frankly, I don't trust it. He's 7'6 and has dodgy knees. See you later Yao Mursean. So is there anything to be worried about?
Clippers - Everyone's excited in LaLA land that the Clippers might be a playoff contender. Think about it - Blake is back, a new coach, no dunleavy..things are on the up. But the new coach is Del Negro and he struggled to handle Chicago. How is he gonna get Baron Davis to work for him, how is he going to keep Kaman healthy and how is he gonna get on with Donald Sterling? They'll be better than last year but not great. So is there anything to be worried about yet?
Lakers - Reigning champion Lakers. Fallible. We saw it last year and despite the upgrade at point guard, they're beatable. Okay, they're something to be worried about.
Memphis - Rudy Gay was overpaid greatly and history dictates that he will therefore be subpar this year. Oh and last year was an anomoly for them. I like Marc Gasol and OJ Mayo but Zach Randolph has a timer built into him which goes off after a year of being on a non-playoff team. Expect him to punch himself in the face after 37 games. Still nothing to worry about.
Minny - Kurt Rambis has the triangle offence led by a point guard who wants to be a shooting guard. Nothing to see here. Nothing to worry about either.
New Orleans - A lot rests on new Coach Monty Williams. There'll be an improvement but the squad is w*nk and they'll only battle for the eighth spot. Not worried and neither should you be.
OKC - I'm worried.
Portland - Injuries. Injuries. Injuries. Oh and the off-court drama surrounding their egotistical owner, Paul Allen. No worry going on here.
Sactown - Not worried because they're not worried. All they care about is getting Tyreke his 400 shots and inflating his stats. Obviously I don't believe that but I don't believe they'll be too dissimilar to last season either.
San An - Like a punch drunk boxer, they keep coming back. But like a punch drunk boxer, they're getting sicker and sicker. And like a punch drunk boxer, they're living on borrowed time. They won't be much different to last year. Not worried because we OWN them.
Utah - We know how they work. Like clockwork. We also know they'll hit a run where they don't win .500 in a 15 game spell. We also know they'll go through a patch where they'll reel off 12 wins on the bounce. But ultimately, they have a defensively weak Al Jefferson in their starting line up. Not gonna help. Normal levels of worry are needed.
I still expect people to panic on here because, well, that's what they do, but we have a very promising season ahead.
We're gonna equal last years outcome. There, I said it.