FanPost

Happy Belated Birthday, Dudley

 

We didn’t forget about you. In fact, we’ve been thinking a lot about you lately.

In the spirit of fun and in my peculiar fashion, I’d like to consider Jared Dudley’s personality via astrology. I know, I know…this is about as effective as believing in Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny (who both, if you’re under 10 or borderline 12 years old and reading this, absolutely exist). But the carrot I’m dangling over your head, just out of your reach, is Dudley – a Cancer, born July 10, 1985.

Crabs can't really jump, but you can...

Cancers, represented by the crab, are the most clear-cut of all astrological signs. When you’re thinking about the creature itself, a crab is a dynamic addition to the world, just as Dudley is to the Suns. Crabs live in the inter-tidal zone of the oceans, where tides rise and fall twice every day. I don’t have to throw any metaphors out on this notion – we’ve acknowledged the rise and the fall of our beloved Suns time and time again. But who better to ride the tide with us then Dudley?

A Cancer’s motto could be, "A good defense is the best offense." Like a crab in its cave, Dudley’s attack might consist of baiting his opponent into his territory. What appears to be a retreat to others ends up being his best aggressive tactic – and they’re pinched when he snaps a three!

Of all the different personalities and astrological signs meshed together in what is still being constructed into the 2010-11 Suns, the majority of whom appear to have been born in the spring and summer (making them some kind of something having to do with astrology), Dudley remains my man (sorry, Hill).

Other Cancer (Dudley) Traits:

Kind: There’s a big difference between being nice and being kind, and Dudley has this down so far. Whether it’s rescuing his team from a boring or fruitless third quarter or feeding the media frenzy, Dudley seems to be first in line offering a helping hand (or tweet).

Dependable: Dudley’s middle name might as well be dependable. Jared Dependable Dudley – it has an excellent ring to it, yeah? He has many nicknames, but just as a crazy junkyard owner depends on a scrappy, vicious junkyard dog, the Suns know they can depend on Junkyard Dudley.

 

Intuitive: Perhaps most importantly, Cancers, and by extension, Dudley, teaches us how to intuit basketball. Along with his great capacity for love of the game, a strong intuitive force seems to guide him through games. He knew when to dive for the loose balls. He knew when to let go, take a breath, shoot for three and then laugh in Tom Cruise and Bruce Willis’ faces. He knows exactly what his fans want and he gives it to them. Damn, he’s good!

 

I’m right on the edge of my seat. I can’t wait to see what Dudley has in store for us this fall. From the BBGF and on behalf of all Bright Siders: Happy Belated Birthday, Dudley!

 

One last thing, from a comment I posted earlier today - a Suns Haiku:

It's only July. Everyone stop freaking out. But don't trade Dudley!

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