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Around SBN: Kobe Bryant Will Never Top Michael Jordan

Thank you one and all

My name is keify34 and I am an expert bumlicker.

 


 

Star-divide

 


Here is what I propose:


The past season and this offseason, we as Suns fans have been treated to uptodate information, pictures, insights, polls, abuse, random chat and every other manner of interwebtacular goodness that is posted on this site.

Obviously, as participants on this site, we can all pat ourselves on the back (I freely admit that since the season has ended my pat will be smaller than most) but the majority of the praise needs to go to the guys and girls who have submitted regular posts, kept us all in check and regailed us of tales of Gregg Popovich's abuse.  So let's hear in the comments below what your favourite aspects are of our chief writers and contributors.

(To see who the writers are, scroll down to the bottom and it should tell you).

Here are my contributions:

Seth: Thank you for being like the father I always wanted and for looking like the semi homeless guys I am forced to interact with on a daily basis.  You keep my Suns love alive in the quietest of times and have me fearing that if I post one picture too many that are of an inappropriate nature, you will give me a verbal tasering to keep me in line.


Scott:  You are the reason God created depression. Depression makes people look more negative than you. And that takes some doing.  But seriously, your witty banter is so-so and your comments are 'meh' and for that, I thank you. And don't think I will EVER forget that you picked the Lakers in the conference finals.

 

EDIT: Scott - You were created by the devil. You are aids and rabies and herpes all rolled into one.  You are everything that is nasty and vile in the world.  But with the heart of a hooker/heart of gold.  I love you and hate you in equal measure. And I still despise you for your Conference Finals prediction. SCUM.


Wil:  You have beautiful eyes and a delightful nose. Your ears are made from Gods finest clay and your neck is a thing of beauty.  Thank you Wil for being the arrogant/confident straight talking, no-sh*t writer you are.  And if you don't write me soon, I am going to spam your email address with 'sh*tcity.com' emails.  You think I'm kidding? You know better than that..


Alex: Your name is ordinary like mine but your writing is not. Your columns may be created and posted more frequently than the next installment of Saw, but by God you don't just type sh*t (except for the 'what would you rather give up' column).  Your content is always cause for me to think and as the newest addition to BSoTS, you've slid in seamlessly.  Thank you for writing man.


BasketballGF: Will you marry me? 


And...


Brian32/13: Put your shirt back on.

Comment 64 comments  |  10 recs  | 

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Please tell us exactly how you got your bum-licking skills...

Recced because it’s funny…BTW, you let Scott off too easy….Actually God created Scott because of the scourge of Depression…One whiff of his postings makes you appreciate the life you have…

STAT may be gone but the Suns will rise....!

by Daryl Ray on Jul 30, 2010 12:42 PM MST reply actions  

keify you arrogent puttz

ren’d

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 12:44 PM MST reply actions  

*rec'd*

god I suck

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 12:46 PM MST up reply actions  

I thought you were a cop, keify?

For every sunset, there will always be a sunrise.

by Bkj on Jul 30, 2010 12:58 PM MST reply actions  

I never thought I'd be accused of writing TOO MUCH

wow. Well, if the columns didn’t generate a shitload of comments, I’d probably stop. Till then, you’re SOL.

Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun

by Alex Laugan on Jul 30, 2010 1:28 PM MST reply actions  

SOL?

Sex on legs? Probably a fair assessment.

The NBA: Where Scott Howard happens.

by keify34 on Jul 30, 2010 1:52 PM MST up reply actions  

alex i thank you for being bored by LBJ

All the H.W.B.A. talk was really getting on my nerves at that time, still not sure when I’ll stop calling him H.W.B.A.

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 1:53 PM MST up reply actions  

H.W.B.A?

The NBA: Where Scott Howard happens.

by keify34 on Jul 30, 2010 1:56 PM MST up reply actions  

he who bores alex

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 1:57 PM MST up reply actions  

The BSOTS staff.

The best way to articulate my feelings about them as indiviuals is to compare them to the group that we should all be judged by…. the Spice Girls. Let’s get started.

Seth………………….. Definitely Ginger Spice. Normally docile and understated, but not afraid to assert himself if push comes to shove. The quiet leader.

Wil…………………….. Sporty Spice. No bullshit, just unhinged spirit and a catty “don’t F with me” attitude.

Alex……………………. Posh Spice. You can’t knock someone for being the best at what they do, even if what they do isn’t all that impressive. Much like Posh is the consummate diva, winning the crown by nabbing a gazillionaire pretty-boy soccer star, Alex is the consummate capologist here at BSOTS, providing all the information that we were too lazy to look up.

Scott………………….. Scary Spice. I’ll leave that to the imagination of the reader.

Trevor………………… Baby Spice. He’s young, lovable, innocent, and would look adorable in a blonde wig and baby-doll pajamas.
Woah, went a little too far there. I’ll save the rest of that for my diary.

"I make my case against a stack full of comics. Here comes the line.... I'm loaded with rocket fuel!!"
- Mike Watt, The Minutemen

by RMason on Jul 30, 2010 1:52 PM MST reply actions   1 recs

Here is my new interpretation of the Spice Girls theory:

Seth/Ginger Spice – Busty red headed whore.
Wil/Sporty Spice – Closet gay
Alex/Posh Spice – Fit but ultimately a second fiddle to your greater half
Scott/Scary Spice – Gobby northern bird who you want to punch in the face and in the fanny at the same time (and I’m not talking the american version of fanny)
Trevor/Baby Spice – Everybody fancies him/her but feels guilty about it because it feels SO wrong…

The NBA: Where Scott Howard happens.

by keify34 on Jul 30, 2010 1:56 PM MST up reply actions  

Yeah that works too.

"I make my case against a stack full of comics. Here comes the line.... I'm loaded with rocket fuel!!"
- Mike Watt, The Minutemen

by RMason on Jul 30, 2010 1:58 PM MST up reply actions  

Oh an didn't Ginger Spice bang Steve Nash?

I’m sure Seth wouldn’t mind the comparision with that in mind.

"I make my case against a stack full of comics. Here comes the line.... I'm loaded with rocket fuel!!"
- Mike Watt, The Minutemen

by RMason on Jul 30, 2010 2:01 PM MST up reply actions  

nah

probably just some open mouth kissing

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 4:10 PM MST up reply actions  

don't lie

you know you got a chub

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Aug 1, 2010 12:36 PM MST up reply actions  

youre a sick bastard

Blogging Suns Basketball. Twitter: @willcantrellphx

by Wil Cantrell on Aug 1, 2010 8:18 PM MST up reply actions  

duly noted sir

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Aug 2, 2010 8:24 AM MST up reply actions  

Ha!

Who hasn’t been down THAT road?!

"I make my case against a stack full of comics. Here comes the line.... I'm loaded with rocket fuel!!"
- Mike Watt, The Minutemen

by RMason on Jul 30, 2010 1:58 PM MST up reply actions  

80’s Raw eddie or 00’s crappy disney movie’ eddie….because I imagine those to be 2 distinctly different rodes.

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 2:40 PM MST up reply actions  

"Brian32/13: Put your shirt back on."

lololololololol
xD
rec

"I don't lift weights because they are heavy, and I don't run because it makes me tired." - Charles Barkley
TURRIBLE!

by Jaxis on Jul 30, 2010 2:03 PM MST reply actions  

uh....

I am…uh….does this fit our guidelines? It probably shouldn’t….but….uh…thanks?

Raising Arizona Sports at SB Nation Arizona twitter: @sethpo

by Seth Pollack on Jul 30, 2010 2:03 PM MST reply actions  

yeah no shit

not sure if we just be repsonding to this, or just moving along ;)

Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun

by Alex Laugan on Jul 30, 2010 2:28 PM MST up reply actions  

We love you guys

without you guys people outside of BSOTS would realize that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 2:45 PM MST up reply actions  

It's nice to be somewhere where people support the Suns and actually know what they are talking about.

I’m like the only Phoenix Suns fan in my circle of friends and it’s annoying listening to my friends talking about the Lakers or, God forbid, the Mavs…

Steve Nash is my mancrush. But Goran Dragic is the 2nd coming of Manu Ginobili, which makes him just as tasty.

by NashMV3 on Jul 30, 2010 2:51 PM MST up reply actions  

move along here nothing to see

just Keify and his British anger unhinged. Still angry at America about losing the big one a few hundred years ago.

Now go on kick the crap out of some innocent criminals, Keif!

Blogging Suns Basketball. Twitter: @willcantrellphx

by Wil Cantrell on Aug 1, 2010 10:48 AM MST up reply actions  

clearly

being called a busty red headed whore is a compliment, I don’t see how this could be taken any other way…

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 2:35 PM MST up reply actions  

I tend to agree

and my wife being a fan of Joan on Mad Men will also hopefully be on board

Raising Arizona Sports at SB Nation Arizona twitter: @sethpo

by Seth Pollack on Jul 30, 2010 2:54 PM MST up reply actions  

Keify

Even though you put me on your Lou Blacklist and won’t ever rec anything I say, I still rec this with love.

Steve Nash is my mancrush. But Goran Dragic is the 2nd coming of Manu Ginobili, which makes him just as tasty.

by NashMV3 on Jul 30, 2010 2:50 PM MST reply actions  

brian32/13/??/Bkj

you should put your shirt back on, but feel free to take off your pants and jack it

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 2:58 PM MST reply actions  

Seriously dude, I love your avatar and username.

Steve Nash is my mancrush. But Goran Dragic is the 2nd coming of Manu Ginobili, which makes him just as tasty.

by NashMV3 on Jul 30, 2010 3:00 PM MST up reply actions  

back at you sir

i picked this one cuz i thought it looks like he’s flip’n kobe off.

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 3:03 PM MST up reply actions  

lol yes it does ^_^

Steve Nash is my mancrush. But Goran Dragic is the 2nd coming of Manu Ginobili, which makes him just as tasty.

by NashMV3 on Jul 30, 2010 3:04 PM MST up reply actions  

When someone is banned is all memory of their commenting deleted?

I went back and looked for keify’s comments about how Brian32 was feeling, and I couldn’t find anything. Then I looked in fanposts and finally found his screen name, you should read his biography, it is really wierd.

I have been a Suns fan for a good portion of the decade and have lived in Los Angeles all of my life.I have always watched run and gun style of basketball. When steve nash came back to Phoenix for the 04-05 season, i thought i had died and gone to heaven. I have seen the Spurs eliminate the Suns way too often in the postseason, and the effets of the effects have been catastrophic. In my whole life, never have i hated such a thing, such a word that infuriates me with passion and undescribable frustration.I love the game of basketball and have always hoped that i might get a chance to interview a couple of them. If i ever do get my chance here is a list of the guys that i would LOVE to interview: Horry, bowen, marcus fizer, jay williams and his motorcycle accident, nikoloz tskitisvilli, dajuan wagner, the kandi man, and my personal favorites peja stojacovich and darko millicic, and dont ask me why!

For every sunset, there will always be a sunrise.

by Bkj on Jul 30, 2010 3:49 PM MST reply actions  

he cussed like a sailor..

STAT may be gone but the Suns will rise....!

by Daryl Ray on Jul 30, 2010 4:11 PM MST up reply actions  

cussed like a sailor, and apparently was also a wierdo; maybe he was a drunk?

Or a really F’ed up war veteran that had 15 consecutive tours of duty in Iraq

For every sunset, there will always be a sunrise.

by Bkj on Jul 30, 2010 4:48 PM MST up reply actions  

when did he get banned?

Steve Nash is my mancrush. But Goran Dragic is the 2nd coming of Manu Ginobili, which makes him just as tasty.

by NashMV3 on Jul 30, 2010 4:50 PM MST up reply actions  

I don't know, sometime around teh start of the Lakers series I think it was, one of the guys from ptr came here and he cussed them out, according to mike lisboas:
For the record, he was banned for being a douche to Spurs fans both on PTR and BSOTS

For every sunset, there will always be a sunrise.

by Bkj on Jul 30, 2010 4:53 PM MST up reply actions  

my favorite was the anti-semetic remark followed by an apology in which he admitted being Jewish.

My guess is he’s somewhere locked up getting the One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest treatment

Blogging Suns Basketball. Twitter: @willcantrellphx

by Wil Cantrell on Aug 1, 2010 10:50 AM MST up reply actions  

thats a strange rant?

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Jul 30, 2010 4:07 PM MST up reply actions  

I would like to thank Eutychus who should be a staff writer even though he's not

for his amazing contributions to this wonderful site. His attention to detail and in-depth research of topics is a quality in writing I only hope to emulate one day…

His posts are golden and his comments are sometimes misunderstood because of their complexities and subtle sarcasms – his sense of humor is rare like a Southern Muriqui also known as ‘the Woolley Spider Monkey’, he is like ‘the most interesting man in the world’ of the blogoshpere. He is my hero.

They say "don't swim with the sharks", but I'm faster than sharks so it's not a big deal...

by Eutychus on Aug 5, 2010 10:13 AM MST reply actions  

haha Eutychus will be impressed with this comment

Hope he reads it soon.

In all seriousness, you’ve done great analyses on Childress and Warrick, amongst all the other posts you’ve done. I really thought they were excellent.

Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun

by Alex Laugan on Aug 5, 2010 12:38 PM MST up reply actions  

You're too kind

but I’m a humble guy – I owe it all to the basketball blogging gods

They say "don't swim with the sharks", but I'm faster than sharks so it's not a big deal...

by Eutychus on Aug 5, 2010 2:29 PM MST up reply actions  

I would also like to thank Eutychus

he’s like LBJ (He Who Bores Alex) except cooler, scott should give him what he wants lest he take his talents to the peninsula is mightier…

"I’ve been in the league 14 years and I don’t think I’ve been called for a carry yet. It’s news to me," "I’ve never heard anyone complain about me carrying the ball. The best coach in the league Gregg Popovich didn’t have a problem with it last week."

by 2NASHTY on Aug 5, 2010 9:19 PM MST up reply actions  

I'm like LBJ because I show up when I want to?

They say "don't swim with the sharks", but I'm faster than sharks so it's not a big deal...

by Eutychus on Aug 9, 2010 1:09 PM MST up reply actions  

That's true... but it's only because I don't have a guaranteed contract

They say "don't swim with the sharks", but I'm faster than sharks so it's not a big deal...

by Eutychus on Aug 9, 2010 1:10 PM MST up reply actions  

*bow*

They say "don't swim with the sharks", but I'm faster than sharks so it's not a big deal...

by Eutychus on Aug 9, 2010 1:10 PM MST up reply actions  

No love for me?

I mean, my computer HAS been at the Apple Store for a full week, but I didn’t think I was THAT unmemorable…

Though, I will say the Baby Spice comparison is dead on. I look rockin’ in a blonde wig.

Bright Side of the Sun, for all things Phoenix Suns. Twitter: @iamtrevorpaxton

by Trevor Paxton on Aug 6, 2010 1:14 AM MST reply actions  

Recc'ed - from my Mac.

Coulda done it from my Iphone, but…I just don’t give a shit.

Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.
Dorothy

by haremoor on Aug 6, 2010 2:31 PM MST up reply actions  

Too much "bromance" but it's still funny as hll!!!

I would also like to thank the writters, editors & the migthy Seth. Even the new guy ( Alex).
You guys are the best group to have around even when am in a panic. Keify what are we going to do without Lou?

"Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming!!!"

by Aztiramtempe on Aug 6, 2010 6:52 PM MST reply actions  

I've already considered my options:

Kidnap him and stick him in my cupboard, brining him out only on Suns game nights
Move in next door to him and be a borderline stalker neighbour
Marry him

The NBA: Where Scott Howard happens.

by keify34 on Aug 7, 2010 3:43 PM MST up reply actions  

I'm yours, baby.

There isn't a single acceptable situation for the question "Is this game almost over yet?" Not one.

by Basketball GF on Aug 10, 2010 5:42 PM MST reply actions  

But Scott is kinda my soulmate...

There isn't a single acceptable situation for the question "Is this game almost over yet?" Not one.

by Basketball GF on Aug 10, 2010 5:48 PM MST up reply actions  

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