Unfrozen Caveman Basketball Player Surfaces At US Airways Center
by Scott Howard on Sep 7, 2010 12:52 PM MDT
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PrintIn case you missed Seth Pollack's awesomely exciting breaking news, the one and only Greg Ostertag has popped into US Airways Center to join in on all the informal workout fun. If you're like me, and most of you should be, you're clearly delighted by this news since you have a creepy infatuation with crew cuts and NBA players wearing the number 39 (if anyone mentions that he wore 00 first, so help me God I will come through the computer and hit you with a rock).
But besides the obvious reason that Ostertag just wants to make an NBA comeback and is a Valley resident , why is he there? Well you're old pal Scott Howard has compiled a list of reasons:
- Getting in shape for Eddie sequel.
- Teaching Robin Lopez how to make fire.
- Attempting to correct indignity of being passed over by the Suns twice in the 1995 NBA Draft - including once for Mario Bennett.
- Has been hired by Jarron Collins to make Collins look young and athletic by comparison.
- Because when the G.O.A.T says he wants to come work out at your practice facility, you don't say no.
- Will fill the position of team barber to teach hippies Lopez and Steve Nash a needed lesson about proper hair grooming.
- Everyone needed someone to dunk on. Again. And again. And again.
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Sure, go ahead and mock but you won’t be laughing when he grabs 12 rebs in 20 min!
Raising Arizona Sports at SB Nation Arizona twitter: @sethpo
hilare
you know, I’m going with #4. someone had to make us pine for Jarron Collins.
I saw Ostertag coming out of a movie last summer and it took me a good 2 minutes to place the height/face with a name. Finally, my brain registered the crew cut and Ostertags name flew right out…
Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun
He should be in the movie business.
How funny would a buddy comedy starring O-Tag and Big Country Reeves be?
"We didn’t go for coffee and this kind of stuff."
-El Dragon on his relationship with Sasha Vujacic
Will there ever be a more suitable post for this pic?
"We didn’t go for coffee and this kind of stuff."
-El Dragon on his relationship with Sasha Vujacic
by RMason on Sep 7, 2010 1:56 PM MDT reply actions 6 recs
Recc'd for how hysterical that is,
but while I am typing this, I must acknowledge that your signature also made me laugh.
"If the Suns can shock the world
Goran Dragic is the name."
by Dragic_is_Magic on Sep 7, 2010 5:07 PM MDT up reply actions
Not a single one of those was a Greg Ostertag highlight. They were the other players highlights (Stockton, Malone etc), it was simply that he was the recipient of all their good work.
The NBA: Where Scott Howard happens.
The best one was when he blocked the circus shot headed up towards the bottom of the rim from the guy who was falling over.
In some circles
That is referred to as being “Osterized”.
"We didn’t go for coffee and this kind of stuff."
-El Dragon on his relationship with Sasha Vujacic
by RMason on Sep 7, 2010 3:46 PM MDT up reply actions 1 recs
Seriously, Scott...
How do you come up with this stuff?
I love it, don’t get me wrong. I got a good laugh out of it. But I just don’t understand how you think of this stuff!
"If the Suns can shock the world
Goran Dragic is the name."
I do it for the recs.
RIP Seasons of Discontent
by Scott Howard on Sep 7, 2010 5:26 PM MDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well, it works.
I recc’d it.
"If the Suns can shock the world
Goran Dragic is the name."
by Dragic_is_Magic on Sep 7, 2010 6:04 PM MDT up reply actions
Well I've known that for awhile. :)
But it was truly solidified in the Taylor Griffin post….
"If the Suns can shock the world
Goran Dragic is the name."
by Dragic_is_Magic on Sep 7, 2010 8:24 PM MDT up reply actions
Scott, I thought you were going to parody that old SNL skit with Phil Hartman as the caveman. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I’m just a caveman. I was thawed out by your scientists and brought back to life.”
It's not.
My friends and I joke about that all the time.
http://vodpod.com/watch/2907582-unfrozen-caveman-lawyer-video-by-hannahpittman-photobucket
RIP Seasons of Discontent
by Scott Howard on Sep 8, 2010 12:40 PM MDT up reply actions
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