As my bio implies, but in case you didn't know, I am not the girlfriend of a basketball. I'm Elle, a girl who's a friend to all Suns fans. I like to add colorful commentary to otherwise technical and tense subjects, if only to amuse myself/pass time. I've actually been a BSotS fan and reader for a long while, long before I "joined" the site.
But I do have some confessions to make.
· My real-life boyfriend (and yes, I really have one… I’m not totally obsessed with Scott Howard after all) doesn’t care for basketball whatsoever. Last year during the Western Conference Finals, James* rooted for the Lakers (despite my constant Suns bolstering) because – get this – Phil Jackson used to coach the Bulls. If it’s Chicago, my boyfriend loves it. We even made bets to include dinners, massages, etc. regarding the games. I lost all but one (thank you game three).
· I just barely learned the actual definition of “pick and roll”. I think I was confused with the screen (“pick”) part, dissecting the actual words and trying to match the players’ actions (kind of like saying “okay” over and over and over ‘til it makes absolutely no sense anymore and it’s not okay). Then comes the trapping, the double-switch…so on and so forth. Slowly I learneth. Nash and Stoudemire were masters of the pick and roll. An eleven year old explained it to me, by the way.
· In high school (8 years ago), I was a giggling, bouncy cheerleader and captain of the Academic Decathlon team (sophomore through senior year). Talk about a dichotomy. On one hand I was optimistic, sunny and irritating and on the other I was sarcastic, ostentatious and…irritating. This has always been my way, and so it is the way I take basketball as well. I love the Suns but I question their make-up and mock their backbone. I have faith, show pride in the team and players and celebrate the hell out of wins, but I take everything in stride, ever-prepared for the next letdown. The irritating part about that attitude? I can’t be taken seriously in an official Suns argument/discussion because I’m (almost) always playing the devil’s advocate. Either that or I don’t know half as much as I wish I did! The latter is more often the case. I guess that means I’m usually the cheerleader. Other girls/chicks/women don’t particularly like that about me. Yay!
· I have a very strong abhorrence of Kobe Bryant and other professional athletes who get away with breaking the law, breaking vows, violating a code (written or otherwise implied) of ethics, showboating, grandstanding, backstabbing or mocking other teammates, being media whores, and so on…all thanks to the almighty dollar that drives their “love of the game.” My ass. You love the game about as much as I love picking up dog poop. I do it because I love my dog. You play because you love the money. The money makes you untouchable. Being untouchable makes you an asset. I get it, it’s all relative and that’s the way the world works. I’m not much for sniveling, believe me. But in sports I believe you should be held accountable for your actions. Movie stars are a little different (I could go on and on about this subject, but I’ll spare you), but like movie stars there are many people looking up to you. Shame on you for showing sports fans what greed and a good lawyer can do for you and then having the nerve to stick your noses up at the good guys on the filed/court/ice/etc.
· I’m skeptical about the Dragic/Brooks trade (I share the same view as many of you, including Seth, so this isn’t a confession as much as it is a general comment).
· I have a Suns license plate but I didn’t pick the letters/numbers. It almost looks like it says “OOPS”.
· I am really scared of Gorillas. Even though I know it’s just a guy wearing a suit, I will actively avoid the Suns Gorilla. Did you ever see Congo? Freaking terrifying. I also have a mild case of Equinophobia. Keep your horses away from me. I know, I’m pathetic. But you know what animal I absolutely love that could easily kill a gorilla or make a corpse of a horse? Elephants, baby.
· I am not supposed to be writing this post at the moment. I’m supposed to be hard at work writing reports and protecting the public from rogue physicians. Onward!
* Names have not been changed to condemn the guilty