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The REAL Reason Goran Was Traded

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 25, 2011 4:46 PM MST

From the 4th sub-basement deep under the Alamo:

"Everything is going according to plan?"

"We have learned much from those accursed Phoenix Suns, after they obliterated us in the playoffs last year. The Nash protocol is in effect: our plan to limit the minutes of our aging superstar is working perfectly!We are able to keep Timmay on the bench for lengthy periods without losing games, or even leads! After stealing Gentry's blueprints for building a solid, high energy bench, we have been able to rest the starters more and more. Filching the schematics for their high-octane offense has given us the floor-spacing and three-point system that has overhauled our ancient and decrepit offense and has us outscoring teams."

"Excellent! Ever since our propaganda plan of belittling Stoudemir'e, hypnotizing him into believeing he would be 'the Man' in New York City--"

"Ha, HA!"

"We have decimated our bitter enemies! Your ploy to have them hire that Turk--"

"Ya! That was a good one!"

"And now you have their offense dragging around the corpse of Vinsanity--"

"Ya! Hilarious!" Wipes tears from his eyes.

"Now that we are poised atop the Western Conf, and Phoenix is nowhere near the playoffs--"

"Um.Actually, they are starting to click together, despite the sabotage that we've inflicted, and they could sneak into the 8th seed."

"WHAT!?! And face us in the first round?!? What if they unleash that Dragon person on us again? Remember when he came out flame-throwing, singed off Ginobili's hair, and burnt our hopes to the ground?" Shudders. "He must NOT be on that team! Get him here! No, wait. Just get him into the state of Texas so we can keep an eye on him. On Houston, so he'll be out of the playoffs. GO! Put on your Blobby disguise and get him off Phoenix!! NOW! Our doom is upon us! The trade deadline is here! They must Not Have The DRAGON!"

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Comments

I absolutely love this.

"This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators."

by Basketball GF on Feb 25, 2011 5:11 PM MST reply actions

Lolz, rec'd.

Goodbye, Goran. Hello, Aaron.

by NashMV3 on Feb 25, 2011 6:42 PM MST reply actions

LOL

LOL, LOL, LOL, LOLFOC

On the Gani Lawal Bandwagon.
Suns Future All-Star
Mark these words........

by SS21 on Feb 25, 2011 7:05 PM MST reply actions

I like this part

GO! Put on your Blobby disguise and get him off Phoenix!!

I wonder Lance Blanks is related to Billy Blanks.

Bo Baggins!

by ajotanelsona on Feb 25, 2011 7:44 PM MST reply actions

lmao amazing

This reminds me of what my roommate said immediately after it was announced that Kerr was leaving out of the blue:

“Now we know what happens when you cross Popovich.”

Kerr defected, stopped being the Manchurian GM, and helped conquer his old handlers.
Then he was terminated.

The Blabby was set upon us as his replacement….

Steve Nash, the league's MVP, is a longhaired Canadian who spoke out against the war in Iraq and reads The Communist Manifesto. Quentin Richardson declared after a game-winning shot that it "was like Hamlet. It was a suspense thriller, and I killed them at the end." Amare Stoudemire, when asked to comment on a 22-point third quarter against the Kings, said, "I've got a tendency to jump over some guys' heads and throw it down."

by rsavaj on Feb 25, 2011 8:36 PM MST reply actions

wow

Dragic is the reason we swept the Spurs? I think not…But funny post nevertheless.

by Wolf Make-Shift on Feb 25, 2011 9:36 PM MST reply actions 1 recs

Yes.

"If the Suns can shock the world
Goran Dragic is the name."

by Dragic_is_Magic on Feb 25, 2011 9:55 PM MST reply actions

Lolz!!!!!! Dang them!!!

I picture Pops with a Russian accent saying this ( think Natasha & Boris) Soo I laugh even more.

I think you'll find that I'm universally recognized as a mature and responsible adult.

by Aztiramtempe on Feb 26, 2011 12:20 AM MST reply actions

We should have a contest to see who can narrate that the funniest

or a

Want epic? Go to Bright Side of the Sun threads. We're more Homer than homer.

by Will Slaven on Feb 26, 2011 12:36 AM MST reply actions

n nevermind

Want epic? Go to Bright Side of the Sun threads. We're more Homer than homer.

by Will Slaven on Feb 26, 2011 12:38 AM MST up reply actions

Funny

but Aaron Brooks is a ninja posing as a baller. If Dragic was so good then why did a rookie almost steal his job? Much more sad to see LB, Amare, and J-rich go for nothing.

I’ll never forget that zone that Goran got into vs. Spurs, but I’ll take Brooks anyday of the week and twice on Sundays.

Morey went out and got the best player he could for a disgruntled player with expiring deal. Joe Dumars wishes he could have done the same with Hamilton.

The only thing that will disappoint me is if Morey flips Dragic to the Lakers or the Spurs.

by oLLiE Boombayay on Feb 27, 2011 1:08 PM MST reply actions