Upon learning that Laker forward Ron Artest intends to change his name to Metta World Peace, Heat Forward Chris Bosh has decided to change his name to Ron Artest. Desperate to shed his soft label Bosh feels the change will give him that edge he's been missing.
"I mean you got to realize that this is a name people associate with bat shit, jump into the stands crazy. Everyone is afraid of Ron Artest and everyone knows that you don't push around Artest. I mean shit, if he's not gonna use it, like, I gotta take advantage of it. That's my level of dedication, I'm committed."
When Ron 'Metta World Peace' Artest was asked about Ron 'Chris Bosh' Artest's comments he had this to say...
“People named Ron Artest should really avoid using the word committed when talking about themselves. And he better remember this will in no way help his rap career”
Pat Rily Erik Spoelstra is all for the Idea saying...
“This will really shore up our front line, which is good because we were getting ready to try to get Shaq out of retirement...how desperate is THAT. We're planning on throwing him a big re-introduction party with pyrotechnics and everything?”
Teammate Dwayn Wade's comments could not be confirmed as both his palms were firmly planted in his face. Lebron James's response was quick and to the point, going with his oft-used catch phrase “that's retarded.”
The announcement had somewhat of a water shed effect as Nets guard Sasha Vujacic announced he too would be changing his name. From now on he will go by Sasha Sharapva. When questioned about the unorthodox name change he responded...
“Wouldn't you? Seriously, in my home country they don't rhyme Vujacic with Bitch. Plus; how un-hot does Maria Vujacic sound!?....he then licked his fingers, straightened his eyebrows: looked into the camera and said “Sasha Sharapova is gonna go all Supernova” then whipped his hair around and left the interview. In other news Rupaul is changing his name to Shaqita, and has given no comment as to why. In anticipation of working with two big personalities and NBA legends Shaquille O'neal and Charles Barkley, TNT host Kenny Smith will be changing his name to Chris Bosh.
John Rumors reporting