Chris Bosh Plans to Change His Name

by John Rumors on Aug 3, 2011 12:34 PM MST

Upon learning that Laker forward Ron Artest intends to change his name to Metta World Peace, Heat Forward Chris Bosh has decided to change his name to Ron Artest. Desperate to shed his soft label Bosh feels the change will give him that edge he's been missing.

via www.onlinesportshandicapping.com

"I mean you got to realize that this is a name people associate with bat shit, jump into the stands crazy. Everyone is afraid of Ron Artest and everyone knows that you don't push around Artest. I mean shit, if he's not gonna use it, like, I gotta take advantage of it. That's my level of dedication, I'm committed."

When Ron 'Metta World Peace' Artest was asked about Ron 'Chris Bosh' Artest's comments he had this to say...

“People named Ron Artest should really avoid using the word committed when talking about themselves. And he better remember this will in no way help his rap career”

Heat coach ~~Pat Rily~~ Erik Spoelstra is all for the Idea saying...

“This will really shore up our front line, which is good because we were getting ready to try to get Shaq out of retirement...how desperate is THAT. We're planning on throwing him a big re-introduction party with pyrotechnics and everything?”

Teammate Dwayn Wade's comments could not be confirmed as both his palms were firmly planted in his face. Lebron James's response was quick and to the point, going with his oft-used catch phrase “that's retarded.”

The announcement had somewhat of a water shed effect as Nets guard Sasha Vujacic announced he too would be changing his name. From now on he will go by Sasha Sharapva. When questioned about the unorthodox name change he responded...

“Wouldn't you? Seriously, in my home country they don't rhyme Vujacic with Bitch. Plus; how un-hot does Maria Vujacic sound!?....he then licked his fingers, straightened his eyebrows: looked into the camera and said “Sasha Sharapova is gonna go all Supernova” then whipped his hair around and left the interview. In other news Rupaul is changing his name to Shaqita, and has given no comment as to why. In anticipation of working with two big personalities and NBA legends Shaquille O'neal and Charles Barkley, TNT host Kenny Smith will be changing his name to Chris Bosh.

John Rumors reporting

Tweet Comment 25 comments | 12 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Very funny

Will rec next time I’m on a PC.

Makes me want to change my BSOTS handle to Kenny the Jet Smith, which I guess is open now.

I'm Michael Beasley's imaginary friend.

by suns68 on Aug 3, 2011 2:22 PM MST via mobile reply actions

why not

no one else wants it

It's News If I say it's new, this is John Rumors reporting.

by John Rumors on Aug 3, 2011 3:01 PM MST up reply actions

You made smile in these darkest nights

Good Stuff keep it coming, write something about Rolo and Gortat.

Do not let Steve Nash and Grant Hill go away, please.
Otherwhise im not buying any tickets from you Saver.

by Lino Canaan on Aug 3, 2011 2:24 PM MST via mobile reply actions

Can't

too busy following a lead about a massive pillow fight that happened in the Suns Dancers locker room; have to do lots of research….lots and lots and lots of research.

It's News If I say it's new, this is John Rumors reporting.

by John Rumors on Aug 3, 2011 2:52 PM MST up reply actions

I eagerly await the article of this ground breaking news story.

Member of the "Let’s Make FanShots Relevant!" Club

by AcucracK on Aug 4, 2011 11:51 AM MST up reply actions

~~As soon as~~ Not long after I find the pictures I’ll break the story.

It's News If I say it's new, this is John Rumors reporting.

by John Rumors on Aug 4, 2011 2:01 PM MST up reply actions

kinda irritating

http://www.faniq.com/blog/-Miami-Heat-ready-to-make-shocking-signings-of-Grant-Hill-and-Tayshaun-Prince-Blog-38686

You can follow me on twitter.

sports_dude33

thanks

by sports_dude33 on Aug 3, 2011 4:28 PM MST reply actions

That is a horribly written article.

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Green Bay Packers: Super Bowl XLV Champions!!!!

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Aug 3, 2011 6:17 PM MST up reply actions

What could i possibly want from Miami that they are willing to give ?

I swear to Fword god, if by any chance we end up with Chris Bosh i´m leaving this team for real…but wait a sec Grant Hill is free agent, we could lose Grant Hill for nothing right here D:

Do not let Steve Nash and Grant Hill go away, please.
Otherwhise im not buying any tickets from you Saver.

by Lino Canaan on Aug 3, 2011 7:43 PM MST up reply actions