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NBA Lockout Negotiations Headed in Right Direction as Players and Owners Agree to Order Papa John's

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This past Wednesday, the Player's Association renewed lockout negotiations with the NBA at a Manhattan-area hotel. Though little progress was expected to be made on the lockout negotiations which so far have resulted only in verbal sniping from both sides, the meeting Wednesday showed dramatic improvement in negotiations. 

"We decided on Papa John's", said NBPA President Derek Fisher. "In the beginning we were skeptical that any compromise at all could be reached, but we just put our heads down and went to work." According to the New York Times, the NBA initially refused to budge, with NBA Commissioner David Stern citing the "awesomeness of Little Caesars' Hot-and-Ready pizzas for carry-out", but eventually the two sides were able to come to a deal when nobody wanted to get their car and drive to pick up the pizza. 

In an official statement, the NBA said that "this day of compromise gives us hope for the future of the league and hope for NBA fans everywhere. We are extremely pleased by not only our ability to reach an agreement but also by the quality of the Meat-Lover's pizza, down to the very last slice." 

"You should have seen [Deputy Commissioner Adam] Silver just dig into that slice of Papa-J's Hawaiian", said Fisher. "It gave me goosebumps. It's a hopeful image for the future of our league, our players, our player's children, and the future of humanity and the world itself."

Though no future talks were scheduled, the negotiators who attended the meeting were in unanimous, emphatic agreement that Papa John's would be the exclusive caterer for all meetings in the future.