Anybody Wanna Buy A Used Time Machine?

"I'm not sure what kind of a car you're trying to sell me. Didn't the body used to be that of a DeLorean?

The Flux Capacitor-MV2 is still operating at near peak efficiency and assists in giving us a blast from the past every night, and yeah, it makes the whole thing go, but the car just doesn't zoom like it used to.

The engine, from the BavarianAutoMotorwerksFirm is still plenty durable, but the rest of the car seems to be made of secondhand parts.

Okay, the hood is good and solid, if rather pointy. It must be the hood off an Edsel. It looks like a big ol' beak on the front. But that shnozz does rebound well.

But the rest of the parts make it look like it's been repo'ed and the pieces cannibalized and sold off.

I mean, a Rolex to replace the time circuits? And it's all hunched over and only has one hand.

The handling seems to be something of a dud and would serve better as a backup system. All offensive capabilities seem to be fried and would also work best as a reserve.

It's like you left the time machine in some rotten neighborhood in LA and they not only stole the wheels and left it on blocks, they stripped all the stainless steel off the body.

Factory seconds everywhere, and yet, when the Flux Capacitor overheats, there's nothing to keep the car revving. One part is on loan to China. The price is wrong. The trunk smells like a seabass. The springs under the brown side panel should be good but there's a horrible clunking noise from that side.

There's just so much wrong with it. The newest part keefs on working hard, but the way the whole thing haks and sputters, it couldn't reach 88 mph if you lit it on fire and shoved it off a cliff.

And you think the answer is to paint it redd?!?"