Well, we all knew this day was coming...Conclusive analysis from all but Mr. ORNG shows the Suns are well...not good, and after Fropez was summarily laughed at for an extension--You know it, the fans are foaming at the mouth for prospective roster moves. We could continue this all season of trying to carefully calculate brilliant roster moves for the future, but it's always better to put yourself out of your misery quickly. Therefore, without further adieu, it's time to bring on all the good, mediocre, bad, odious, and just plain outlandish trade ideas...If your mind can concoct it and the trade machine doesn't blow up when you input it, post it here...
In the sterling tradition of Scott Howard (Who I blissfully stole this idea from with wanton disregard for literary rights...), I will start it off with what I consider a proposal that is just bad but not quite putrid enough to make you throw up in your mouth...(Remember, be considerate as some of us actually have to go to meetings today and it's not always easy to brief the boss with BSOTS vomit all over your shirt).
Here's the three team craporama that I propose:
Why Phoenix does it: Hell if I know, but Corey Maggette used to be athletic, sucks less than Shannon Brown and he'll remind us of the good old days with Vince Carter. Charlie V. because somebody has to start at Power Forward and he as spokesman for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation, can hoipefully help Grant stave off male pattern baldness. Will Bynum, because I want to prove that it's possible to be a worse point guard than Sebastian Telfair. Ben Wallace because we need a big man in the tradition of Earl Barron and Jarron Collins and also because he didn't get a chance to foul up the joint during his first stint here, and finally Ivory Latta, because she's probably better than anything else on the remaining roster...
Why Detroit Does it: Nash, because as truly depressing as the city is, him coming to town would be the excitement equivalent of GM opening 10 new factories and the memory of Darko being wiped from the annals of history. Boris Diaw, because restaurants in a deflated market need lots of patrons--considering that Diaw moves twice as fast in a Bistro line as he does rotating on defense, he's perfect. Robin Lopez, because there are a lot of abandoned buildings in Detroit that need to be smashed, Markieff Morris because it's always fun to crush a kid's dreams, and finally the jumbaco because Steve deserves better...
Why Charlotte does it: Ben Gordon because Michael Jordan needs to finally realize he sucks as an executive, Marcin Gortat because after having a team that has been subjected to Diop at center, frankly, I feel sorry for them. Jason Maxiell, so he can dole out well-deserved ass-kickings for Tyrus Thomas on a regular basis, and finally the a 1999 Chrysler Sebring which probably runs better than the Charlotte Front Office.
The trade machine says we are 10 wins less than before the trade (I didn't realize it would let you go negative...)There you have it.-bad, but not totally horrible. C'mon guys I know you can come up with better or worse...way better or way worse...!
Do you feel you can conjure up a worse trade than this...?
Hell No...This is as bad as I ever want to see (39 votes)
Maybe..Let me rosterbate a bit... (6 votes)
Yes I pull trades out my butt worse than this all the time and I can prove it... (8 votes)
Not answering...excuse me while I search for a cliff.... (24 votes)
77 total votes