Seth recently suggested that I write an SBN Mission Statement in 140 characters or less after my glowing praise of one Jim Coughenour (whom, I would be remiss not to point out, has still not asked me out for lunch or a beer...sad face). I think he was only joking, but a challenge posed is a challenge accepted.

Hopefully he'll permit 140 WORDS or less instead of 140 characters, otherwise it would read like an unfrozen caveman testimonial.

Here goes.

We at SB Nation pledge the following...

1. We will do better than average sports blogs, with no expressions of racism or homophobia in the comment section

2. We will do better than sports talk radio, with a greatly reduced number of fart jokes and point/counterpoint yelling

3. We will not be a mouthpiece for the teams we report on, unless they start paying us

4. We will give ample opportunity for anyone to contribute to the content, and give recognition to those who improve it. Journalism degrees are for suckers and kissasses encouraged but not required.

5. We will discuss the proper issues and not just ape other media outlets

6. Fuck ESPN and the whores that work for them No Skip Bayless or Colin Cowherd

7. We will remember that this is supposed to be fun. These are grown men playing children's games, after all.

137 words, what!

Peace.

The statements, rants, opinions and accusations expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of RMason. You'll never take him alive.