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Former SUNS Players Running Scared: On the Trail of the Elusive SUNS Karma-man...

First of all, I gotta say this is some kind of internet hoax, or urban legend--

I'm not sure if you've heard the rumors: a dark figure swooping in with his own sense of "justice," dishing out pain to those he feels are "worthy," or rather, unworthy. A thunderous slam in an unlit alley, a loud crack in an empty parking lot, a jabbing chop striking somewhere down the length of an arena's back hallway.

They say he wears a dark purple mask and cape, a costume that lets him cling to the shadows, waiting to pounce on any player who used to wear a SUNS uniform, only to reveal the orange fists of vengeance to pummel at the opportune moment.

He's been leaving clues strewn about the trainer's rooms and team doctor offices: "U have to PAY when u leave Phoenix!!" "U wanted to be the MA'N!!" "How's about playin' some Boll now?!" "Think of the CHILDREN??!! We're UR children!! We've paid the collective millions u can leave 4 ur kids!!!!!"

Security video feeds have revealed a blurry image of a dark figure with an orange sun emblazoned on his chest lurking around Staples Center. Eerily enough, both Grant Hill and Steve Nash succumbed to injuries and have missed games. Coincidence?

Hedo Turkoglu's left hand was broken in the Magic's opener, the same hand that he extended in friendship to the fair city of Phoenix. He now has undergone surgery twice in the last seven months. In April, he suffered a broken left cheekbone which he said occurred when he was elbowed accidentally in a game, though everyone knows Hedo never goes down low and mixes it up with the big boys. Turkoglu said that injury was the worst of his career, but he secured teammates' respect when he returned to the court three weeks after the procedure, only to be re-injured again now.

Amar'e Stoudemir'e famously injured his hand slapping a fire extinguisher glass plate in the playoffs last year. Oh, really? Perhaps someone was waiting for him in the dark shadows of that hallway. Perhaps Lon Babby's picture was taped to the glass plate. Will we ever know? And now Amar'e's hand is broken again, the same hand that used to be raised in jubilation and monstrous dunks for the cause of the Phoenix SUNS. Is this a fluke? Or a quirk of fate?

Think of the "bruised shin" that made Steve Nash miss his last game. Is this the same Steve Nash who used to play with a split open nose or a swollen shut eye on the SUNS? I am utterly confident that the doctors will discover a fractured fibula beneath that bruise, courtesy of a back alley thrashing behind Staples Center.

Who's next?

I can't say that I believe any of these SUNS Karma-man sightings that are being reported all over the web.

But if I were Vince Carter, I do believe I would sleep in asbestos pajamas...

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