Suns attempt to capture Queen City, dethrone the Bobcats

Monarchies are so much more polite than democracies. - Alan Crowhurst

The Phoenix Suns (1-3) take their meager and battered talents out of South Beach and head north to the Queen City to face the equally awesome Charlotte Bobcats (1-1) in a Wednesday night tilt promising all the excitement of election coverage on PBS.

Fun fact: there are three American cities that carry the nickname "Queen City". Charlotte might be the most well known for wearing the moniker, but Cincinnati has more than chili farts to offer up to the debate and don't forget Burlington, VT where coats go to be born and Birkenstock sandals go to die a smelly death.

Also, since we've got some time to kill before this OH SO EXCITING GAME STARTS at 5:00 pm (7:00pm ET) on Fox Sports Arizona and League Pass, there are actual Queen Cities in Iowa, Texas and Missouri. Some would even call San Francisco the unofficial "Queen City" but my preference for that title goes to London, home of iconic band.

Shout out to you, Freddie Mercury! I've never been able to look at Fat Bottomed Girls the same way since 1978.

As for the game itself, there's not much to say. The Bobcats have rookie Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and it will be fun to catch him this early in his NBA career. I'm sure he'll do something with his motor and hustle that will impress us all.

Gerald Henderson is out for the Bobcats with a foot sprain or something. Gerald Henderson injury news wouldn't normally be considered "news" but it's the Bobcats and he is a starter for them. And because I know some of you need the extra help, here's more about Henderson. Just kidding, here's a better link.

As for the Suns, once and if they start doing something vaguely interesting on the basketball court, we'll start writing vaguely interesting words about them. Until then, rest assured that my game coverage performances will mirror their actual game performances. In other words, I'm out.

But first, just because some of you kids have no idea what great music is:

Rufus on Fire

Suns vs Bobcats coverage

A note from our sponsor about how cheap tickets are for Suns home games. Who said there's no bright side to sucking!

'Our partner TiqIQ has teamed up with ScoreBig to bring you the ability to ''Make an Offer' for Suns Tickets.The link below has a $15 coupon applied to the first purchase for November. Deals are ranked on a star system- 1 star for cheapest seats and 6 stars for the best. Click here to check out all options for Phoenix Suns Tickets''

[Note by Seth Pollack, 11/07/12 1:57 PM EST ]

Sorry, Kendal Marshall fans. Looks like your dreams are on hold.

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