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THIS. IS. SPARTA!


"NO RETREAT! NO SURRENDER! THIS IS SPARTA LAW! And by Spartan law, we will stand and fight... and die."

"O-kay. We see where you're going with this. But hear us out. What if, like, instead of fighting to win, you like, lose some battles, so you're more effective later?"

"WHO ARE YOU?!? Who are these Cretins? Why aren't you dressed in battle armor?"

"Oh, we don't actually fight with you. We more like cheer from the sidelines. See those logs all tied up and webbed together beside the battlefield? We sit there and sort of tell you what you should do."

"THE PERSIANS ARE ALREADY HERE! We've made a giant wall out of boulders and their bodies! Why do you want us to not fight our hardest?"

"You see, there's some fine up and coming young fighters, and if you lose a lot, you would get first pick! So by strategically having some of your best warriors hide in that water tank over there part of the time, you could throw a few battles, BUT next year pick up some young stud who has a 7' wingspan!"

Star-divide

"CAPTAIN! GET OVER HERE! These young gentle men wants us to throw some battles. What say you?"

Captain gNash shakes the hair out of his eyes as he splits yet another giant warrior with his sword. He high 5's several comrades as he rushes to King Alvgentridas' side. "I say we fight on!" he cries as yet another foe's head is sent spinning free from its body.

"LIEUTENANT! How say you?"

Lieutenant Goretat raises his mighty hammer and shatters the shield of the enemy before him, He brings down his terrible beak upon the helm of his foeman, cracking the iron and sending shards into his brain. Spitting a piece of blood vessel from his mouth, Goretat exclaims, "We battle to the death!"

"No, you don't get it. We really like our idea. If you just don't try so hard, you might get some real sharpshooter in the offseason."

"HAVE YOU NO FIRE IN YOUR BELLY? What young fighter would wish to join our band if we were of the ilk who lay down their arms?"

"Changeling was doing so well, missing shot after shot, his longbow always off target. And Chilldrax was way off with that wacky swing of his. But now he's slashing, and slicing and dicing! You'll do no better than middle of the road! That's just madness!"

"MADNESS? THIS. IS. PHOENICIA!!! This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!"

With a mighty crash of swords upon shields, the orange-clad knights followed their battle-hardened captain into the fray once again, to do or die trying, leaving a pile of young bucks, hawk feathers, cat skins, and bear limbs in the wake of their slaughter.

The webbedloggers caught one look of the grim faces on the Sun-emblazoned fighters and skeedaddled over the hillside-- unless they, too, were ready to join the battle!

Comment 65 comments  |  17 recs  | 

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thanks

I don’t even know how you found this. I had a hard time, and I put it here!

I’m not sure what’s up with the fanposts

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 9, 2012 8:21 AM MST up reply actions  

THIS... IS .... SPARTA .... SUNSSS!!!!

SUPER REC’D!!!

I don't know what to put in my sig.

by shawndy on Feb 9, 2012 4:04 AM MST reply actions  

Fight til the end.

I don't know what to put in my sig.

by shawndy on Feb 9, 2012 4:04 AM MST reply actions  

rec

ed

"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose"

by phxpurple on Feb 9, 2012 3:32 PM MST reply actions  

REC

"SIR ALEX FERGUSON" Greatest Manager of all time

by phxuk: Ap on Feb 9, 2012 3:53 PM MST reply actions  

Lol

Suns fans will need more stories like this to distract them from the mediocrity this team is heading into.

Women were the reason I became a monk - and, ah, the reason I switched back... -Morte, Planescape Torment

by Spit_Fire on Feb 9, 2012 9:38 PM MST reply actions  

I’m convinced the Steve Nash level of awesomeness in this post is what fixed the FanPosts.

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Read my thoughts on Creighton University athletics at Creightonian.com

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Feb 9, 2012 9:59 PM MST reply actions  

I love this!

Recus maximus.

Blogging Suns basketball for Bright Side of the Sun from California wine country.
Twitter: @EastBayRaymundo

by East Bay Ray on Feb 10, 2012 12:10 PM MST reply actions   1 recs

(I’m just glad you didn’t say, “Rectum Maximus.” But I guess I’ve been called worse.)

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 11, 2012 10:43 AM MST up reply actions   1 recs

genius

excellent work

66-0 let's goooo

by 2time on Feb 10, 2012 9:02 PM MST reply actions  

no way. NY would be giving up too many assets.

(lol)

Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun

by Alex Laugan on Feb 11, 2012 6:41 AM MST up reply actions  

Their guard situation was like our wing situation last year

They have way too many.

"I don't lift weights because they are heavy, and I don't run because it makes me tired." - Charles Barkley

by Suns R Us on Feb 11, 2012 3:16 PM MST up reply actions  

Lin, Bibby, Shumpert, Douglas, Fields, Walker, Davis

Am I forgetting someone? Bibby shouldn’t even count, and neither should Davis at this point.

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Read my thoughts on Creighton University athletics at Creightonian.com

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Feb 11, 2012 3:34 PM MST up reply actions  

He's legit as a pick and roll PG IMO

He’s seen multiple coverages so far, and handled them all. He’s not Nash as far as shooting, though.

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 11, 2012 9:25 AM MST up reply actions  

Why would NY accept that?

Joe Saunders: "They Giants played a really good game, so hats off to us"

by Skii on Feb 11, 2012 11:44 AM MST up reply actions  

Ok i get it guys..you are not losers..

But how about being mediocre for 5 more years? And once Nash leaves will you guys still hold onto that pride? What is your so magical plan? You are hoping to re-sign Nash ? Or you guys are still thinking that Gortat is 5 top center in the league?

At some point, you are going to enjoy winning but still losing more than winning, 400. Is enough for you? Maybe you guys all have a secret plan, maybe there is some super FA next year waiting to sign with this team, who has not young prospects or star players, only an aging one.

Pride, loyalty, honor call it whatever you want the truth is this, if we don’t start getting good picks, we are never going to get a superstar or even decent role players…Now if you so call pride is enough and being mediocre 5 years is enough, that is ok to me, at the end of the day none of us have a vote in the Phoenix Suns future…but don’t post how talentless this team is, don’t complain about we not getting good picks and don’t say you feel sorry for guys like Nash playing in this team.

Perhaps there is a way to make this team a contender via trades and signings but our FO is no houdini, I don’t meant to lose in purpose, but by trading Nash, you could play with all the pride you want, we are not getting one win without him.

roses are red violets are blue, Michael Redd is coming for you!

by Lino Canaan on Feb 10, 2012 10:07 PM MST via mobile reply actions   3 recs

What I was attempting to convey...

is what would happen if one of us bloggers would go up to Steve Nash and suggest that he tank. He’d spit in our face! His guitar-playing, shark-riding awesomeness cannot be shielded, nor contained!
I think the attitude of most professional players would be to do their best— tanking would be far from their thinking. Their pride wouldn’t allow it.
Would it be wise for the SUNS to purposely lose games to get a higher pick? That’s not what I was addressing.
We will know the FO is purposely trying to lose games when we see them acquire a bunch of 1 year scrubs and force Gentry to play a lot of bad players, like, say, Telfair, who go out and flush the starters’ huge lead straight … down… the… toilet…
… wait a minute…

Anyway… I think the FO might be tanking this season, but I don’t think the players’ pride would let them lose on purpose— their lack of talent may make them lose, but I don’t they will try to.

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 10, 2012 11:30 PM MST up reply actions  

Well that´s another thing around here, if most players in our roster have that pride

I agreed that most players will not play to lose like Nash, Gortat, Hill and that is pretty much it, maybe Frye and Dudz too, but the others to me seem effortless, i am saying, if you trade Nash and Hill, it doesn´t matter what they the rest of players in this team do, they won´t be able to pull a win, however picture this.

Nash and Hill got traded for 2 1st round picks and Eric Bledsoe to the Clippers…Eventually, someone here is going to have to step up, and you don´t know who will be, but i am 100% sure that someone will have to step up, say it´s Josh Childress and now after the trade Childress is playing 34mpg, 18 ppg, 7 rebs and 2 stl or maybe Brown gives you 20 ppg, 7 reb and 3 stl or it could be Price or Eric Bledsoe but someone will step up that always happen to franchises when they trade superstars, now you have 2 decent role players, Frye and Dudz, and Gortat and that one will step up, in a position when even though you´re team is trying really REALLY hard, they can´t win one so we are getting a good pick + 2 picks from the Clippers and Eric Bledsoe.

With more money to sign FA in future years and maybe drafting a good C to let RoLo walk.

Wouldn´t you do that ? personally i would and i would still be around here no matter what but i wanna make something clear this is a personal thing, if we remain mediocre or if we tank, if we reach playoff or we don´t, i am still gonna be around cheering for my team, i just would like to be in the winners side…

roses are red violets are blue, Michael Redd is coming for you!

by Lino Canaan on Feb 11, 2012 7:37 AM MST up reply actions  

i just would like to be in the winners side…

We all would, Lino. We all would.
And if you really think the Clippers are going to give 2 1st round draft picks for Nash and Hill, on a team that already has Chris Paul, Chauncey Billups (yeah, I know he’s hurt, but…) I would like to try that stuff you’re smoking. And you really think the Clippers are going have a difference makg pick us? They’re doing tty good right now.

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
"In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip."

by haremoor on Feb 11, 2012 9:26 AM MST up reply actions  

Phones and thumbs are like monkeys and footballs.

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
"In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip."

by haremoor on Feb 11, 2012 9:42 AM MST up reply actions  

Because although they seem like they would be good together,

but when you try it, it’s like… “ooooooooohhh shiiiiii…”

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 11, 2012 9:44 AM MST up reply actions  

Didn't they try that in the XFL?

Weren’t there some monkeys on the same time where “He Hate Me” played?

Great receivers— all hands

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 11, 2012 10:51 AM MST up reply actions  

what if we just let things in the future happen the way they should happen

I’m sick of all the tanking vs being mediocre and just making the playoffs arguments. and if Nash leaves, then he leaves, we can do nothing about it, and if he won’t, then he stays.

I don't know what to put in my sig.

by shawndy on Feb 11, 2012 8:57 AM MST up reply actions  

This is not Sparta

If you try to throw disabled children off of cliffs here, they lock you up.

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 10, 2012 11:57 PM MST reply actions  

not always

I mean…I survived the drop.

by 2NASHTY on Feb 11, 2012 12:02 AM MST up reply actions   3 recs

so your parents were never caught, huh?

Blogging Suns Basketball at Bright Side of the Sun

by Alex Laugan on Feb 11, 2012 6:42 AM MST up reply actions  

Thank you SNQP

I’ve learned what it means to be a fan because of the Suns, and knowing when to quit is not why.

by 2NASHTY on Feb 11, 2012 12:08 AM MST reply actions   1 recs

"Ours is not to reason why. Ours is but to do and die."

~~The Charge of the Light Brigade

I hope our players still try their hardest, despite how unreasonable and unreasoning their FO appears.

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 11, 2012 12:15 AM MST up reply actions  

I took Greek Culture in college and our prof told us an interesting story about the Spartans

Unlike other Greek city states, Spartans trained both their women and men to fight. This training took place in the nude (gymnasium actually means “place to exercise nude”).

Visitors from other city states would always want to go and watch the women train for hours on end.

This perplexed the Spartans, because the men were much better fighters.

I'm Michael Beasley's imaginary friend.

by suns68 on Feb 11, 2012 8:35 AM MST reply actions   1 recs

lolz

If the WNBA really wants to sell tickets

nvm…

by SteveNash, QuantumPhysicist on Feb 11, 2012 9:03 AM MST up reply actions   1 recs

I'll be the naked guy scaring all the pretty girls away.

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
"In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip."

by haremoor on Feb 11, 2012 11:54 AM MST up reply actions  

The Spartans

stopped feeding their children as soon as they were weaned from their mothers. They had to learn how to fend for themselves and steal…or starve to death.

There were rumors though that moms and sisters would place cakes and bread in places that were readily accessible for the younger ones and would turn and look the other way.

sententia Platonis semper in ore illius fuit, florere civitates si aut philosophi imperarent aut imperantes philosopharentur

by NASCARbernet on Feb 11, 2012 12:05 PM MST up reply actions  

From what I can tell. the Suns are already trying this with Hakim Warrick

But it doesn’t appear to be working.

Blogging Suns basketball for Bright Side of the Sun from California wine country.
Twitter: @EastBayRaymundo

by East Bay Ray on Feb 11, 2012 1:16 PM MST up reply actions  

"place to exercise nude"

That’s all fun and games until the old man with gray chest hair shows up.

by KD1 on Feb 11, 2012 7:06 PM MST up reply actions  

Why am I saddened by this tragedy?

The certitude of this season’s tragedy somehow makes it poignant and beautiful, doesn’t it?

The season reads like the second half of Beowulf.

Following the drama from down unda...

by ZonaFlash on Feb 14, 2012 12:44 AM MST reply actions  

The Grendilla?

It would still be better than the Sixers mascot…

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 14, 2012 4:09 PM MST up reply actions  

They have one?

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Read my thoughts on Creighton University athletics at Creightonian.com

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Feb 14, 2012 9:46 PM MST up reply actions  

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 15, 2012 11:30 AM MST up reply actions  

What the hell is that?

Go Suns, Packers, Jays, and Huskers!

Read my thoughts on Creighton University athletics at Creightonian.com

I also edit things at Ridiculous Upside. Check it out.

by Omaha Sun on Feb 15, 2012 10:21 PM MST up reply actions  

I told you

A mixture of Grendel and the Gorilla would be better.

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 16, 2012 10:05 AM MST up reply actions  

a gyrating turd would be better then that.

by 2NASHTY on Feb 16, 2012 7:48 PM MST up reply actions  

see picture above

Voted most likely to say "I told you so"

by jc79 on Feb 17, 2012 4:46 PM MST up reply actions  

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