The Phxpurple Philes: The Jared Dudley Conspiracy


First off let me say what a year this has been. We truly have reached a low point in this franchise's glorious history. If you asked me 5-6 years ago where I'd thought we'd be as an organization I'd have said we would probably be on our way to our 2nd or 3rd championship. but no. that is not the case.

Anyways I'm writing this today because I've recently come into some information that would be very volatile if in the wrong hands. luckily it was donned onto me and as such I felt it proper to disseminate such information to the one place where true Suns fans reside. Unfortunately the AZcentral wont let me post articles so this was my next place:p

A few Days ago I received and anonymous tip, informing me that the
Suns were going for Rudy gay. I thought"this is rubbish. nothing but hot air, Why would the Grizz do this? Hours later I saw the headline on yahoo from A. Woj about Grizz Forward Rudy Gay being on the trading block and the Suns being the main suitor. Coincidence? maybe.

This news brought swift uproar to BSOTS and caused a schism between the normally well mannered and mentally stable members. There were those who "Claimed it to be a gift from the basketball gods" While there were those who said that "Rudy gay isn't better than
Dudley" and "he is over-rated". And then there was me still hoping Beasley could get some more minutes. and still wondering why Tony Allen never washed his hands that night we met in that restroom in Memphis.

333cvbp_medium So there was much Debate and for awhile we had something to talk about on bright side other than Shabazz and Wiggins and Kate Upton's Tits.

Then all stopped.

Suns and Grizz FO's we're in Hard talks. according to sources the basis of the deal was Dudley and some expirings along with a 1st rounder TBA for Gay and possible cash/filler. A pretty nice trade for a team desperate to keep its fan base happy and needing to inject some life into its dying term who was probably one or two more bad season from ending up in Seattle.

Then the report came in.

Jared Dudley would miss the next game due to a "hand injury"

Jared Dudley: The heart of the team, The guy who has barely missed any games all year, The Captain, JMZ, The JunkYard Dawg, The dude who coined "WHATS UP" on Brightside at Blake Griffins expense.....hurt his hand/wrist?

And boom, just like that, The promise of Rudy Gay Coming to help be the cornerstone that would life us out of these ashes, was gone. and Just like that no one was trying to go after Duds.

here is a likely diagram of how these events took place: Click to enlarge


Why did he do it? what was/were his motive(s)? Was the resurgence in Earl Clark's play involved? And Why was MMotherwell so bent on making sure we did not get Rudy Gay at any cost.

The answer? tweets

Jared Dudley is a Man known more for his off the court accolades that his on the court ones. with over 135,000 twitter followers, most of them being suns fans, its pretty clear that it would not be easy to simply, give that up. If he left town his fan base would drop considerably. Here in Phoenix he is the (best looking) face of the Franchise. No one else stepped up to fill the power vacuum created when Nash and Stat left so he pretty much was the man by default. Even though he uses His power as the "Face to garner for attention and send out tweets that wouldnt even make it on to Wikipedia as real premium info.



If he were sent to Memphis he would probably be the 4th/5th/maybe 6th most popular player on the roster. combine that with the fact that people in Memphis don't no how to tweet and you've got a recipe for social media fame disaster. in about 4 months Dudley would probably end up as popular and well known as Marquise Daniels or Eddie House. Just "that" dude. Its pretty messed up. Had he not "shattered his hand" we probably could have netted something decent for him.

So in Conclusion

Dudley faked an injury or injured his hand on purpose(still waiting on X-ray confirmation) to escape the trade block that he seems to end up on every year but magically avoids because he is to loved. He did it for the Tweets....and maybe to stay in the same division as his secret man crush Blakey-poo


Stay tuned for the next episode. this is just the tip of the iceberg folks.

Ever wonder why Jalen Rose still isnt officially retired and is on our books? and if Barkley is so smart, why hasnt he taken a job here in the desert yet? stay tuned....

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