Let's all be like Fonzi

What was Fonzi? Cool! We're all going to be cool.

Because of the Suns' position, there's a lot of articles on BSOTS about tanking, draft position, strategy, trades, etc. Which means there is inevitably discussion on just how good this team, and the individual players come in.

Which leaves me feeling like Jules in the middle of a diner getting robbed.

Why? Because (and I love your enthusiasm) when we start talking about the value of our players, I get the feeling that a lot of suns fans here are just a liiiiiiiiiiiittle to enthusiastic about some players on this team. I'm not saying (at all) its wrong to enjoy this team, love new players, or enjoy the suddenly exciting basketball they're putting out. At all.

I'm saying it's healthy to . . . be grounded. To have psuedo-realistic expectations. To maintain just a semblance of reason. This is entirely my opinion - by all means, go right on ahead. Predict the Suns to win 50 games. Predict the Suns to sweep Executive,Coach, Most Improved, Sixth Man, etc, etc, of the year awards. Totally your perogative. It's also going to hurt a lot harder when Plumlee gets traded, or the Morri regress to the mean, or Gerald Green remotely resembles the basketball player he's been the rest of his entire life.

So, I'm providing the service that no one wants. Without further ado, my "Players whose fans most need to chill" ranking.

  1. Miles Pumlee
    Chill Level: Leo DiCaprio at the end of Titanic
    Wait, why? Are you sure he's not the second coming of Bill Walton?: I'm pretty sure. Lets play a game. I call it, I'm going to throw out the per 36 minute stats of 5 big men, and you guess which is Miles Plumlee.
    Player A: 9 pts, 10.9 reb, 2.6 blocks on .524% shooting.
    Player B: 12 pts, 9.2 reb, 2.6 blocks on .454% shooting.
    Player C: 12 pts, 8.8 reb, 1.6 blocks on .489% shooting.
    Player D: 12 pts, 10.7 reb, 2.5 blocks, on .494% shooting.
    Player E: 12 pts, 10.9 reb, 3.1 blocks on .545% shooting.

    You probably eliminated Player A, who is the immortal Hasheem Thabeet. Still, those are pretty freaking good numbers - most rebs on this list, and second in blocks and shooting percentage. Players B and C are Darko Milicic and Kwame Brown. Although Kwame has the worst per 36 minute states on the list, he did have decent full season in 2003-04 - 11 pts, 7.5 rebs on .489 % shooting.
    Player D is our very own Miles Plumlee. The best resume belongs to Salmuel Dalembert, Player E. So this is my point. 3 of the biggest busts in the past 20 years put up very similar stats to Mason Plumlee. I DO think Plumlee is better than those guys. He is better. But it seems to me his best case scenario is Samuel Dalembert.
    Now, Dalembert's a good player. Fine career. But he's basically a water-carrier at the center position. Just good enough. This is why Plumlee fans need to jump off the raft into the water with Leo- he's not the best young C in the L. He's very probably never making an all star game. We're looking at a probable, above average backup,with a chance to be a decent starter. Let's chill
  2. Markieff Morris
    Chill Level: Encino Man
    Wait, why? Are you sure he's not the second coming of Kevin Love?: Yes. For those of you unfamiliar with the legendary Encino Man, this miracle of a film is about the incomparable Pauly Shore befriending an unfrozen caveman, played surprisingly easily by Brenden Fraser. Like the encino man, I'm warming up on Markieff: unlike Plumlee, he's had a previous track record of success, and he's achieved it this year while playing against good players at his position. There's also evidence it's best to leave Markieff frozen. The biggest reason: regression. In his first two NBA seasons, Kieff shot .400. That's not bad. That's terrible. And there's no obvious improvement in his shot, or new post moves. He's shooting about 10% more often from inside the paint, which is good. The biggest difference? Long distance shooting. He's hitting .500 of his threes and an INSANE .485 of his long twos. That's better than old MVSteve, people. Which plays into regression. Kieff should be applauded for moving inside some, but he's not a bonafide offensive force. He's a decent defender, and a shitty rebounder for his size and position. That means career backup, friends.
  3. Gerald Green
    Chill Level: Fargo
    Wait, why? Are you sure he's not the second coming of David Thompson? I'm not sure he's the second coming of Von Wafer. Remember that cat? With one of the best knicknames ever? In 2008, he put up 10 points a game while shooting about .40% from 3. Where is Von Wafer now? And where will Gerald Green be in 2 years? Do I really have to drudge up numbers to remind you how outrageously streaky and unsustainable Gerald Green's success has been? Can we just nod our heads and agree? He's a lot of fun, like the movie Fargo, but also tends to bum the bejesus out of me. Like the movie Fargo. I'm not ranking him higher because, although he's going to turn out the worst on this less, there are less Green fans that Kieff or Plum fans.
  4. Eric Bledsoe
    Chill Level: Cillian Murphy's last scene in the movie Sunshine.
    Wait, why? Are you sure he's not the second coming of Isiah Thomas? No, I'm pretty sure he's the second coming of Zeke. Get ready people. I wouldn't trade him for Westbrook AND Durant. ZOMG. Do you guys even watch basketball?
    I'm kidding, of course. I just wanted to point out, than in a season of overreaction about our players talents, somehow gamethreads and other posts still tend to be picking apart Bledsoe. "I'm not sure he can run a team yet" "Dragic is still better" (hint: he's not) "I think he'll be moved before the deadline". This is not someone I would worry about overrating. I'm not one for getting to attached to players, and you won't see me going to crazy about him on BSOTS, but I'm also not going to blame you when you slowly realize I'm right about Plum and Kieff, and you shift your enthusiasm over where it belongs.

So go ahead, rip me apart. Ask me how much I smoke, if I even watch basketball, or why I hate everyone on the team. Then bookmark this post, and comeback in 9 months.We can reminisce, laugh, and remember when we didn't want to trade Plumlee for a starting center. There will be cake. And not an "I told you so" in site - because this is all coming from the man with 3 Marbury jerseys, who was sure Steph was destined to become the best Sun of all time. We all learn eventually

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