Can This Marriage be Saved?
[Editor's Note: I love this! You guys are doing all the work for me this week. Thanks a bunch, JSun for maybe the best take on this I've seen so far.]
The "bad marriage" from Trix quote really got to me. I posted a bit of a comment on this over the Clockwork Orange blog. In my experience, the person saying, "It's a bad marriage and we just need to move on" is usually the person who has given up trying.
Now, that person may have had every reason to give up trying ... or, maybe that person is just too immature. For purposes of this discussion, I don't care if Marion had good reasons or bad reasons. The question now becomes what do you do with that person.
I'm going to assume that Marion is the person who is frustrated and giving up but the Suns organization is the person that is still trying to work on it. The Suns may be the abusive husband and Marion is right in giving up. Or, the Suns may be the spouse that doesn't give the other spouse enough attention; but, when the non-attentive spouse mends his/her ways, the other is already "done with it." The third option in my over-generalization is that Matrix is a spoiled brat and his "spouse" has been enabling his co-dependant personality.
Those are sort of the range of possibilities, and I'm sure that the reality lies somewhere in there -- probably with a little bit of truth to every scenario, but much more complicated.
Reports are that the Suns are not giving up on Marion -- at least not yet. He'll show up to camp because he's a pro and he's the type of guy who still bends over to pick up change on the ground. He also professes to love his teammates who also "love" him back in that macho-guy kind of way. His "beef" is with management, but who really loves his/her boss? So, he'll be there for the team.
Can it be fixed? Can it be solved? I don't know, but there is only one way to solve it. The organization (and the fans who rightfully feel they've been betrayed) need to be the "bigger man" -- i.e., let's welcome back our Prodigal Son with open arms and kill the fatted calf (I wonder if I can get a refund on my new Suns-Odom jersey). That's the only way we can possibly fix this. Maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't. Who knows.
The only other option is to kick him in the nuts and tell him to go to Hell.
It's a viable option, don't get me wrong. But it won't fix the situation.
I know, I know, "How many times do we have to tell the guy he's appreciated?" I have no delusions: the Prodigal Son approach may not fix a damn thing. It might even make things worse. But, it's the only other option besides a swift kick to the nuts. Tip-toeing around the issue will get the Suns nowhere.
Maybe he really just wants an extension but the money is not the sticking point? Would he be willing to tack on three years at $15M a year and retire a Sun? I'd still like to see that. Maybe that can happen. Can you imagine the "love-fest" that would go on if something like that happened? Sugar would be oozing out of the walls of USAC and causing vehicles on the roads downtown to lose traction and spin uncontrolably into one another.
In sum, as I see it, you either have to kick him in the nuts and send him on his way or welcome him back. If you don't work on it, you'll never know. The question is whether you're willing to work on it.
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13 comments
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Compelling analogy
by kcbrett5 on Sep 27, 2007 11:22 AM MDT reply actions 0 recs
I shouldn't be writing about this
Although "co-dependent" would be an inaccurate description of Marion's personality, I do think you made a hit with the enabling.
The Suns have done nothing to discourage Marion's behavior or the factors that lead to his displeasure every year. It's almost as if trhey WANT him to demand a trade so that the fans won't revolt against the new ownership. This is a lesson well-learned from the Diamondbacks and Gonzo.
It's better to piss off an employee, no matter how "valuable" he is to the franchise. Just don't piss off the people paying to see the franchise play.
At the same time, maybe this is what the fans needed, as well. We love Shawn (if I may speak for every Suns fan on the planet...Planet Orange...I gag). We don't like to take sides because, throughout its history, the Suns organization has been pretty good to its fans (4th best reguar season record in NBA history).
We can usually forgive any disgruntled player for leaving, unless his name is Charles Barkley, Sam Cassell, or Robert Horry. But those guys did something special upon leaving - they slammed our franchise. So as long as Shawn continues to say the right things (ie, I love the fans, I love the team, I want to retire a Sun), we can be upset with him for a while. But we all know that we will welcome him back at any time for any price (below what he is already making).
The way things are working it, I don't see a reason why any of us can really be upset with either side. This may very well be a case of the husband not understanding the wife, and the wife staying a couple extra years for the kids.
Thanks for the linkage, yo.
by Phan X on Sep 27, 2007 1:54 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
I Beg to Differ
That might not be the best definition, but it's mine and it's what I meant to say.
I thought everyone had forgiven the Chuckster until he got drunk and became a TNT announcer? We can learn to love him again, can't we? And how can you take him seriously when all he talks about is the need to play tough defense? That's almost as funny as when EJ and Chambers say the same thing.
by JSun on Sep 27, 2007 2:08 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
oops
by Phan X on Sep 27, 2007 2:24 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
Because it's Chuck
I got what you mean now. It's just that, as far as I know, codependents are people that latch onto other people's problems for the benefit of their own self-esteem. So if Marion stays to help "fix" the Suns, then it's codependent.
(Sorry to have been nitpicky. It's a long story, but words and definitions always have to match for me. If not, then I end up not being able to read certain things. Some weird, complex reading disorder. Long LONG story.)
by Phan X on Sep 27, 2007 2:23 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
Adiós Shawn
by OneSunsFan on Sep 27, 2007 2:48 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
Co-Dependence and Conspiracy Theories
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/signs-of-a-codependent-relationship
It was several pages long and I don't like to read past the introductory synopsis because I have ADHD and MTV has ruined my attention span. So, anyway. I was kinda right, but not really.
Sarver is not "dismantling" this team to make a buck. Yes, the stock of one (not all) of his companies is down, but make no mistake about it, Monterey is still making it hand-over-fist; it's just that there are a few less hands grabbing it. I didn't like the KT move, I've ridiculed the moves made since then (right on this site) and I still maintain we were lied to when we were told that the only off-season moves the Suns would make would be to improve the team. The Suns are weaker for Thomas leaving (although he could've opted-out and negotiated a lower contract), but Junior leaving was nothing short of a god-send and we replaced him with Grant Hill.
Look, though, two years ago the Suns went 6 games in the WCF with Diaw at the 5. The Spurs haven't repeated as champs. Who else is there?
I had lunch with my buddy who's going to Las Vegas tonight. I gave him $10 to put down on the Suns to win it all this season. I'll be the guy in the victory parade downtown waiving my winning ticket.
by JSun on Sep 27, 2007 3:12 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
Too late?
Perhaps the most telling line in your link, JSun, is this:
~People often get addicted to hope: The hope that the person will change~
Who's hoping for what, I wonder? Is Marion hoping that whomever he's got a beef with will change? Are the powers-that-be hoping that Marion will play Prodigal Son and come back to the fold? Or is it just plain too late for any of that? The When Harry Met Sally Effect...the "trade me" thing is already out there and can't be taken back?
Whatever the case, I hate distractions like this on my sports teams, and no matter what, it's a distraction.
by Sunny on Sep 27, 2007 3:35 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
Only $10?
Thanks for reading the article in the link. Since I didn't read it (MTV strikes again), it's nice to have someone telling me what it says. It is a distraction, but one we've been living with for some time. Eh?
by JSun on Sep 27, 2007 3:43 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
Distractions
Maybe it's time to get rid of the distraction. Teams who play with distractions of this magnitude often go far but rarely win it all...sort of like the Suns.
"This marriage" can be saved. The question isn't whether or not both the Suns and Marion are willing to work on it. The question is, is it worth it? Will it bring the currently-elusive championship?
That article was pretty interesting. You really need to work on that MTV'd attention span...even if it IS a ruse.
by Sunny on Sep 27, 2007 4:12 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
HA!
We cool.
by Phan X on Sep 27, 2007 6:42 PM MDT up reply actions 0 recs
My first take on this whole thing
Again, maybe there's something else we don't know. But it doesn't look like that. Maybe he just isn't happy in Phoenix.
by Nobs on Sep 27, 2007 3:42 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
Matrix
by whatisboxhappening on Sep 27, 2007 6:04 PM MDT reply actions 0 recs
















