Why we don't win

Denver game, 4th quarter timeout:

Coach D'A:  Who will go for me (to Suns' bench):  Will anyone get in the way of this little guy that is smaller than your little brother that is waltzing to the basket untouched on us?

DJ (looks up from studying plays):  I will, coach! Put me in, put me in!

D'A:  No, my son, you can't shoot.

D'A again:  Who will go for me?  Will anyone put that little scrawny sucker on his butt?

( Strong voice from a dark end of the bench belonging to Brian Skinner):  I will, Coach.  Put me in, put me in!

D'A:  (to equipment manager) Do we have anyone named Brian on this team?  (To Strong voice)  Ah, um, Brian, you'll have to fill out some forms in HR before I can put you in.

A third time.  Coach D'A:  Who will go for me?  Will anyone cover this guy JR Smith that is killing us with threes?

Boris, Grant, and Raja all chime in:  But that's the job of the Matrix!

Coach D'A:  The Matrix has been banished to Miami.

Boris, Grant, and Raja:  But why, O wise coach, why?

Coach D'A:  Because his complaining was getting in the way of communication.

Boris, Grant, and Raja:  I see, O wise and all-knowing coach.  And who, may we say, is JR Smith?

Coach D'A:  Didn't you get the scouting reports?

Boris, Grant, and Raja:  No, Coach, the copier was broken, and the DVD you gave us on scouting reports contained the Simpson movie instead.  We enjoyed the movie