Q & non A with PTR

"How in the heck do you ignore that whold championship thing? Haha, thats funny.

2) Beyond Duncan, Parker and Manu - what other players can create their own shot and potentially score 20 points for the Spurs?

"Finley, Barry, Bowen (long shot), Oberto (done it before)

3) How much do the Spurs chances rely on veteran moves aka "dirty tricks" to get into the Suns' heads?

"Thats what the LOSERS call it, dirty tricks, your funny."

4) How do the Spurs stop Amare aside from getting him in foul trouble?

"Oh by making him make a decision under pressure thats how, haha even funnier."

5) Better bench Suns or Spurs. Explain your answer.

"Simple, Championship experience, remember that thing you wanted to ignore but really cant, lol.

Matthew’s been pretty busy lately – he didn’t even get to watch game 1 live – so let me attempt to give a couple of Powell-esque answers to your questions:

1) Ignoring for a moment that whole championship thing, help me understand how the Spurs are better then they were a year ago?

The two primary improvements are fewer minutes for Jacques Vaughn, and the special cryogenic chamber constructed to help preserve the necrotizing carcass of Robert Horry. But, honestly, you guys are like, way better than us. So much better really, that it will be a travesty of Grecian proportions if you don’t absolutely blow us out in every phase of the game, and such an occurrence could only be explained by a conspiracy involving high-ranking league officials, TV stations looking for higher ratings, and every single ref in the league.

2) Beyond Duncan, Parker and Manu – what other players can create their own shot and potentially score 20 points for the Spurs?

Obviously, absolutely no one after the Spurs’s top three is anything of a scoring threat whatsoever, and whatever points they happen to luck into are freak occurrences that no opposing team should bother planning against, since that would be like buying insurance against a meteorites hitting your car. Yup, the Spur’s bottom 9 players can be ignored with absolutely no consequence what-so-ever.

3) How much do the Spurs chances rely on veteran moves aka “dirty tricks” to get into the Suns’ heads?

Well, as much as we pride ourselves on under-handed play, we still felt that we weren’t truly the creme’d’l’creme in the NBA. Luckily, our front office made a few moves to pick up a player from a team which far outstripped our own in terms of ref-baiting. Kurt Thomas has already been a huge boon in drawing offensive fouls and all-around sneaky play, and we hope this can continue throughout the playoffs. However, Ginobili is not nearly the flopper he used to be, so we still feel that we’re trailing Phoenix, which has first rate floppers and dirty players in both Steve Nash and Raja Bell, both of whom game the refs at a quality level nobody in San Antonio can match. As for Bowen, I hear he’s been practicing sneaking up and yelling “BOO” really lound behind Amare with the hopes of making Stoudemire lose bladder control.

4) How do the Spurs stop Amare aside from getting him in foul trouble?

Amare can be stopped multiple ways; foul trouble is by far the easiest, but containing Nash’s pocket passes will effectively do the same thing. Above all, force Amare into a position where he has to make quick decisions, whether on offense or defense. That’s always when good things happen for Sun’s opponents. Also, note “Operation Boo=Bladder” above.

5) Better bench Suns or Spurs. Explain your answer.

Duh, as I’ve said before, you guys are like, a hundred times better than us in every way. Our only dim hope lies in the bribes we’ve been handing out to refs and league officials like laced candy on Halloween. And equally important are the incriminating pictures we managed to procure of David Stern, Stu Jackson, several binders containing minutia of obscure league rule interpretations, and fifteen gallons of edible LUBE-IT-ALL.