| || |
|8:30PM Mountain / 10:30 PM Eastern|
|TV: TNT HD|
|Steve Nash||PG||Derek Fisher|
|Raja Bell||SG||Kobe Bean |
|Matt Barnes ||SF||Vlade Radmanovic|
|Amare Stoudemire ||PF||Pau Gasol |
|Shaq||C||Andy Bynum |
Hide your children and undersized point guards! Run for the Ahwatukee foothills! The Lakers are coming! The Lakers are coming!
Suns fans, let's face it. The LA Lakers are unbeatable. Rings are on order. They are the best team ever. They won't lose more then 1 game this year and this won't be one of them.
Hang it up. It's over.
Don't believe me? Just ask anyone at ESPN. Or anyone in SoCal. Or anyone with a microphone that speaks about NBA basketball.
I know this to be true as sure as I can see Mexico from my house.
Let's move on.
What I don't understand is how Lakers fans (or Lakers bloggers) are surprised that we all don't love them and their team? I sense a bit of shock in LaLa Land that we aren't celebrating Vujacic and Farmar. That we aren't lining up with them to lick Andrew Bynum's sweaty ass.
They just don't seem understand the depth of the hatred out here in "Real America" for the Los Angeles Lakers. This might be Flyover Country to those Hollywood elites but we worship an awesome God and his name is NOT KOBE BRYANT!
I realize that most Lakers fans only moved to LA in the past decade and just joined the bandwagon around the time Seinfeld ended but some of us have memories that go back before Friends and the Simpsons. We remember. Our hatred for LA was formed by the flames of disappointment and earned at the hands of a Magician. Is it ok to mention flames and LA at the same time?
Can I get a witness up in here?
Vince Marotta over at Fanster breaks down that Laker hate by the numbers..
For those poor slobs who think this game is even worth playing here's what needs to happen for the Suns to win not get blown out.
- Assuming Vlade Radmanovic doesn't snowboard down the jet way and take out Kobe and Ariza then it would not suck so much if Amare D's up on Gasol. This is Sun Tzu's biggest test yet and he has to deliver. Amare must win this battle for this game to be close. Period. Goggles. No goggles. Mohawk or bib. Amare must dominate the high ground and attack with fire. Never will those who wage war tire of deception.
- Unless Bynum's knee cap decides to go to Tucson, Shaq is going to have to abuse him in the paint and draw some early fouls on the Wunderkind. Leave the Twitter at home big fella and bring your drop stepping, hook shoting, spin moving, rebound gobbling fat ass to play.
- If Fisher doesn't leave the team to... (too much?) then we have to hope he's cold and that his cold spreads to Sasha and Jordan when they are exchanging spit in the huddle. Remember Suns fans when we laughed at Sasha and Jordan and Smush? Those were the days. Of course you can always laugh at Smush. He's even back in LA!
- This. Cannot. Happen. Again.
- Is Lamar Odom still on that team? Did the Zen Master send him on a spiritual retreat and 30 day cleanse? No? Crap. In that case Le Boris is going to have to use his sizable French Ass to keep Lamar off the glass and out of the paint and his quick French feet to prevent Odom penatration (which is like anal penatration but more painful to watch. Not that there's anything wrong with that)
- And finally Mr. Mamba. We know that even if your entire team comes down with food poisoning after a night of Cheesecake Factory debauchery that you will come to play. Suns fans, Raja Bell must come to play too. No more bitching about the system. No more whining about the good ole days. Raja Bell must bring it (and hold Kobe to under 40)
Forget the Jazz and the Grizz and all the other zzz's out there. This is why we watch sports. Games like this when they come around get you up off the couch and into the recliner. If you are not geeked about this game then you are not the kind of geek that should be reading this blog. Bring it on baby!
I hate the Lakers and so do you...
This poll is closed
Yes! I am America and so can you!
No. I am not a Laker fan but I DON'T hate them. I am insane.
I am a Laker fan and I like to suck Chef's sweaty chocolate balls