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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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OK, first off, I am beat.  15-hour workdays do not do wonders for one's blogging abilities, nor do they do aid in the formation of coherent arguments or lines of reasoning.  Due to the shittiest work/pay schedule this side of the Green Zone, I've already missed one deadline (Sorry CP3!  I heart you!  You wuz robbed by that mean ol' Kobe Bryant except he's the best player in the NBA west of Bourbon Street and it was just his year, even though he was whining like a baby mere months ago.) and have been near silent on the D'Antoni-Kerr soap opera.  However, I only worked 11 hours today, so here goes...

BallHype: hype it up!

This is all just so disappointing to me.  It's like my parents are getting divorced and I have to choose sides.  And here's the side I choose: this is one ginormous learning experience for all parties involved at the expense of Suns fans.  Everybody wins!  And consequently, everybody loses too!  Hooray!

It's like Kerr-Sarver have decided that D'Antoni is a spouse they'd rather not have around any longer, but they don't want to be the bad person in the relationship.  So rather than step up and cut the ties that bind, they're just sort of going to neglect him.  They're not going to be out and out douches, but...

"What's that, baby?  I can't hear you.  The Hornets game is on.  I sure wish I had a husband who could beat the Spurs."

They're not kicking him the curb.  They're putting him in a position where he has no choice but to kick himself to the curb.  That's what they call a dysfunctional relationship.  And as anyone who knows anything about co-dependent relationships will tell you, it's a two-way street.

Mike D is more than happy to play the martyr here.  He'll go to a team with a developed bench, claiming it's deeper than the Suns.  He'll say they forced him out, citing irreconcilable differences.  He'll know he's going to end up with an Eastern Conference sweetheart that's probably good for a 3-seed next season.  He'll claim he had no choice but to be lured away by that green, green grass on the other side of the fence.

And this was all so, so avoidable.  If only the bitter lovers had paid a little more attention to one another, they'd still be in together.  If only Kerr-Sarver had been a little prouder to be seen with Coach D in public even after he failed.  If only Mike had come back after his fight with Steve Kerr and said "I'm sorry, honey, you're right.  Maybe I should practice defense and ground Amare and Leandro when their mistakes hurt the rest of the kids."  If, if, if.  If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, it would be Christmas every day, right?

And so it's over.  Barring a Californication season finale miracle (hope you weren't waiting for the DVD!), Mom and Dad aren't getting back together.  Dad's leaving for another man and mom's going to start dating with a vengeance.  Mom's new guy won't compare to Dad.  It may be because mom is damaged goods now, but no one will care because he's not our dad anyway.  And despite everyone's best attempts to save face, it's going to end ugly.

And who knows? Maybe 5 years from now, they'll run into each other at an All-Star Game in New Orleans.  Dad, content with his new digs, but not quite thrilled as he once was, will spot mom across the bar at some quiet jazz club on Canal Street.  Mom will see him and look away.  But then she'll look back, unable to repress a smile.  She's OK with the new guy, but he doesn't do it for her the way her Italian Stallion once did.  They talk, maybe share a couple of drinks.  Maybe share a couple too many.  They play "If Only."  "I was too distant."  "I was too stubborn."  They're older now, a little wiser.  They realize what they had, what they could have had.  "The next time you're in town, you should stop by."  "I'll do that."

Sadly, it's a fantasy.  What divorced child hasn't had that one?  It's a tacked on happy ending to a tragic love story.  Get used to it, Suns fans.  Mom and Dad are splitting up and there's nothing we can do about it.  But there is a bright side (and here's where Chris Paul fans can take heart).  As a result of the divorce, that 4th pick in the draft could be ours sooner than we think.