With apologies to Henry Livingston, Jr or Clement Clarke Moore, here's our second annual Bright Side of the Sun "Night Before Christmas" as read through purple and orange glasses. You can read last year's poem here.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
'Twas the night before Clips-mas, in the Grand Canyon State
And the Suns had just finished a cruel winter slate.
December'd been tough, with losses a-plenty,
Delaying their dreams of win number twenty.
A loss to the Cavs Back to back losses had left them all crabby,
Though 18 and
10 11 wasn't too shabby.
And 'Mare in his goggles and Nash in his tuque,
Wondered if their hot start had been just a fluke.
Then there on the schedule, served on a platter
Were the poor hapless Clippers, their record a-tatter.
Away to the others flew ageless Steve Nash
To brighten their spirits with news of this clash!
Don Sterling's a racist and a slumlord to boot,
With an owner like that, hope never takes root.
But in the off season, hope did appear:
An Okie named Blake, presumed Rook of the Year!
But alas poor young Griffin, he broke his patella
Cuz the Clips are the Clips: Sorry, young fella.
But back to the Suns where Coach Gentry was thrilled
He whistled and shouted and thusly he trilled:
"Now, J-Rich! now, Channing! now Jared and Steve Nash!
And, Grant Hill! And Goran! And you, Max Contract!
These Clips, they can't stop us so when you get the ball...
Just bomb away! Bomb away! Bomb away all!"
At this time last year it was Coach Terry and Shaq
And under those two, the scoring punch did lack
But now it's a new game; by new I mean old
With running and gunning till the shooters get cold.
Steve Nash is a-passing at an MVP pace
And if no one's open, he'll nail a shot in your face.
Amare's bum eyeball ain't affecting his shot
He can sure put it in, but he jump-shoots a lot.
Grant Hill is still a baller, from his fade to his kicks;
These youngsters he's schooling with his veteran tricks.
J-Rich comes to play, but his shot's been lacking
But even when bricking, he just won't stop attacking.
And Frye! How he drain 3s! How he runs up the court!
If only in the paint, he could hold down the fort.
Off the old bench, it was Leandro and Lou
But now those DEEP Suns have a gosh-darn wrecking crew!
The strides by young Goran need their own song
His new nickname is "Frosty," "Tragic" is long gone.
Barbosa's been ailing, but the Blur's coming back
With blow-bys and goat sounds in his Santa's sack.
And Jared can play when he's not all a-Twitter
But Taylor and Robin? Still the runts of their litters.
So thank goodness for Lou, and his pogo legs
Cuz Jarron and Tucker's +/- is negs.
Steve Kerr's got a winner; Sarver's saving bucks,
But those off-season moves: shrewd skill or dumb luck?
The Planet Orange faithful give not a care,
Winning's what counts and these Suns do it with flair.
Phoenicians, rejoice! When the Clippers come to town,
It's all but assured that they're gonna go down.
Victory will be ours, so tune in this Friday night,
Merry Christmas to all! (It's not on TNT, right?)