You may recall last Friday I wrote a piece related to how High Definition has changed the whole experience of watching sports. Of course, in typical Cantrelli narcissistic fashion, I had to place myself in the center of the piece, imparting some of my own traumatic personal history, and thus, transforming this site of high quality Phoenix Suns content into my own forum for anxious neurotics. Sorry for that.
It is a week later, and for my efforts, the tekkie Gods or NBA Gods or real Gods have played a nice game of "punch Wil in the face with irony or Karma (known in Pali as kamma): My 5 year old, giant big screen, high definition television is officially dead for the moment. Perhaps there was no God of any sort involved, you see I broke it on my own. The details are sketchy and involve a bottle of champagne, a screw driver, and a golden retriever. You can construct whatever scenario you like. I am going to get right to the point:
I would like to invite myself to a BSOTS reader's house for dinner and the game tonight.
I have decided to turn this into a contest. Whoever can come up with the best offer will win the Wil Cantrell Experience. Here are the terms of the deal:
You: Provide comfortable quarters in which to watch the Suns/Grizzlies match up tonight. This includes but is not limited to: reclining chair with freshly washed blanket (April fresh), giant large HD television with cinematic sound, refreshments on demand, silence during the game (I get distracted easily), volume remote control (I get testy with color commentators and commercials) and transportation to and from your home. *Aside, I have been know to get black out drunk, so I shouldn't be driving after a few alcoholic drinks, you wouldn't want your guest to end up in jail, would you?
Me: Provide typical witty banter, impart my infamous and highly respected basketball acumen, tuck your kids into bed (early, like 6 so we don't miss any pregame) and or your wife/girlfriend significant other-we can't have them getting in the way. I've showered this week, so things shouldn't smell that bad (I always watch the Suns in boxer briefs only-it's good luck) *Note, I am prone to fits of rage when the Suns miss a shot or an official makes a bad call, or when Alvin Gentry where's blue, green, red, or and combination of those colors. And I am color blind, so I have no idea how that will play out. Lastly, sometimes I spontaneously break out into "Surfin' Bird" for no good reason. My psychiatrist says it's part of some nervous tick or remnant of a bad acid trip.
By now, you are probably wondering, "why do I want this guy in my house?" Well, below are examples of how cultured, well behaved, and refined I can be. Truly an enhancement of your dinner, pregame experience:
The perfect Gentleman
Class and refinement
Dinner etiquette exemplified
So, let's hear it, whose got the best offer for me? I'll be the judge of course.
Enhancing Experiences (For Realz)
Now on to more serious and applicable matters. The smart phone revolution is well under way, and I am not a part of it. With my limited, single parent income, I'm stuck with *&^%$ brand flip up or flip top whatever. I can receive a call, (when they aren't dropped) and I can text people. But that's where things end. I cannot get game updates or watch a game on the phone.
So here is what I am curious about. Am I missing out? A lot of people have smart phones, some for work reasons, some for fun, because they can afford it, and others because it's an expensive toy, and who doesn't love toys? Personally I've contended that if it wasn't for having a 9 year old kid, and a lack of pay phones in the world, I wouldn't have a cell at all. All part of my deconstructionist attitude. But perhaps times have changed, and it's time I got with the program.
So, fellow Suns fans, I'd like you to help me out (apart from inviting me into your home tonight for the game):
1. Is a smart phone necessary for every day life? That is if you're not an important business person and you need it to check your stock portfolio or talk to your business associates? Do normal unimportant guys like me and Alex Laugan need a smart phone?
2. Would having a smart phone enhance my life as blog guy and sports fan?
I don't need to know brand names or anything, I'm just wondering if I am missing out.