Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!
After a year away, I've resurrected an old Bright Side tradition. As always, my humble apologies to Clement Clark Moore for adding a decidedly purple and orange hue to his holiday classic.
Twas the night before Christmas... y'know, September Fourteenth,
With the Suns set for tanking, not picking thirteenth!
The draft picks were stocked by McDonough with care,
In hopes that St. Wiggins soon would be there;
Bright Siders were nestled behind their computers
With predictions of Phoenix as NBA losers.
With Channing still healing, and Gortat on the block
Only one thing was settled: a good season would shock!
When from the pre-season arose such a clatter:
The Suns beat some teams! But those wins didn't matter.
Away to the Wizards, they flew like a flash:
Three players whose salaries were wasted cash.
The real season began with a roster of "dreck"
And low expectations for Coach Hornacek.
When what to our wondering eyes did appear
But several quick wins and hope for the year!
Eric Bledsoe and Dragic were so lively and quick
They resurrected that stand-by: the ol' drive and kick.
Faster than sunlight, the new guys all came
And fans whistled and shouted and learned all their names:
"Who's Plumlee?! What's Gerald?! Huh, Goodwin and Green?!
Why Dionte?! How Slava?! And, um, the rest of the team!
From outside or in, if you've got the ball,
Dunk away! Fire away! Score away all!"
And with great efficiency the shots they did fly
If they were trapped in the paint, they'd just pass it to Frye,
All over the court, for loose balls Tucker flew
For rebounds and tip-ins... and a corner three too!
And then in a twinkling, as part of each win,
I did a double-take at the play of each twin!
With Marcus outside and Markieff banging around
They dazzled with three balls and scrappy rebounds.
Now poor young Alex Len was stuck healing his foot
But that didn't make all the Suns' centers kaput!
Miles had no problem attacking the rack
And he looked like Mutombo, sending shots back!
The #Slashbros - they sprinted, their speed is so scary,
They can drive or pull up, with daggers to bury.
This bold little team was drawn up like a plan
Hatched in the mind of a wily young man.
But credit belongs to the whole leadership team
From Bob Sarver's money to Lon Babby's dream
They hired a fresh face at GM and at coach
To shake up the Suns with sharp new approach.
They got rid of the past, a right jolly mess
And then stockpiled some assets... with talent, no less!
A wink of the eye, a tweak of the scheme,
Soon the rest of the league would respect this team,
They spoke not bold words, but went straight to work
By proving they were winners, not some seasonal quirk.
And laying waste to foes out east and out west
These Suns are determined to beat all the rest.
With hella good shooting and scrappy good hustle
This team's shown precision to go with some muscle.
And so I believe or hope with all my might:
The Phoenix Suns can win it all! (Or give a hell of a fight.)