‘Twas the night before Suns-mas, and all through the valley,
Not a Suns fan was happy about the win tally.
Since the trade of the Dragon and little IT
The Suns hadn’t won, or even looked pretty.
The losses keep mounting, the blowouts compounding
the team’s bad rep despite Len’s heroic un-drownding.
The team fights for relevance in a league full of stars
without a one of their own since Steve Nash went to Mars
They keep drafting 13th even when losing a ton
Because Keef Morris gave back in a trade the Suns won.
McDonough’s draft picks are carefully crafted,
in hopes that true stardom soon would be drafted.
Now Quese in for Keef and Dragan for Dragon
as the Suns junk the roster to ride the Teen Wagon.
But stardom comes slowly, just ask Devin Booker,
so the Suns look again for that superstar looker.
Could the Suns finally get that star come June?
Or will we be back here next Suns-mas howling madly at the moon?
In the meantime, coach Watson seems to think he can win
with an overdeep roster that’s somehow too thin.
Too thin of winners, too short of stars,
who can carry a team on their shoulders real far.
But Watson will try, try as he might
to will himself a winner out of love and good fight.
But the fighters can’t shoot and the shooters can’t fight,
leaving the Suns with too much love and not enough bite.
“On Queser! On Tucker! On T.J. and Tyson!
On Bledsoe! On Booker! On Brandon and Len!
On top of the boards! On top of the D!
Now dash away, dash away, get that FB!”
Now Santa arrives at the Stick with care,
happy there wasn’t much traffic to bear.
He had presents, he had gifts, for McDonough to accept,
should they want a better 2017 than they had a right to expect.
For Watson a playbook, for Booker some glasses,
in case his bad shooting was bad sight not bad passes.
For Tyson a cane, for Len some springs,
For Bledsoe some Wolverine juice to ward off more dings.
For Bender some age, for Chriss the same,
For Ulis a few pounds to withstand the NBA game.
For Big Sauce a pogo, for LB a golf cart,
For Knight a massage to relax and play smart.
For Tucker a trade to a contender real soon,
For Buckets a bigger chance to make the fans swoon.
And finally for Duds, what to give him?
Why nothing, of course, because the Santa is him!
JD for 3 takes off the long beard,
and gives McD a big smile so it doesn’t get weird.
Jared wants wins, he wants fans in the stands,
So he’ll give anything to improve the beloved Suns brand.
He raises his hands in the air with glee,
And yells “What up, what up! Ain’t nothin’ come free!
We want a turnaround, and we want one soon.
Come on McD, let’s get this thing straight,
So we can win some games and bring on the boom!”