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The Fans’ Choice Phoenix Suns All-Halloween Scream Team

The team that we thankfully never had... at least not all at once!

Rise of the Jack O’Lanterns in New York Photo by Vural Elibol/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

When fans rosterbate, it’s with the objective of creating a better team. They’re looking for ways to move the players that have failed to live up to expectations. Perhaps for the first time ever, we’ve done the opposite.

For various reasons, none of the players on this fictitious team worked out for the Suns. Some never lived up to their pre-draft hype, some were flawed players who had some skills that weren’t enough to overcome their deficits in other areas, some were talented but could never quite figure out how to best use those talents in the NBA. The one thing that they all have in common is that they played for the Suns at some point during the last 10 seasons and managed to disappoint - and in some cases frustrate or even anger - Suns fans with their performances on the court.

Without further ado, here are your Fans’ Choice Phoenix Suns All-Halloween Scream Team starters.

If the idea of having all these guys on the court together isn’t frightening, I’m not sure what is. You have a point guard who can pass at a high level but isn’t really good at anything else. A shooting guard that can’t shoot. A small forward with a lot of talent but no idea how to use it wisely. A power forward who once was a threat from deep but seemed to have lost that talent by the time he joined the Suns. A center with questionable hands.

Len would probably be the best player in that starting lineup. He is a decent rebounder, can score a bit and is a fair rim protector. The problem is that it was hoped that he would be much more than that. Teams don’t use the 5th pick in the draft to select a serviceable rotation player. Beasley would be the most talented offensive player. Oh, if he had only figured out how to use that talent! Back then, get the ball in his hands and a shot is going up. When or from where no one - including Beas - really knew until it left his hands.

As for defense... forget it. Of the five, Len and Childress were passable defenders but that wouldn’t be nearly enough to even slow down most opposing offenses.

Now on to...

The Reserves

The reserves would likely be a better offensive unit but even worse on defense. Jackson is the only guy here that has any skill on that end. Offensively, your point guard is likely to pound the air out of the ball until the shot clock winds down and then either take an off balance long two or toss an ill advised pass that may or may not reach its target. If that target is Goodwin, 99% of the time you could expect a wild, head-down run to the basket for an attempt at a dunk... no matter how many defenders are in his way. If it’s to Jackson, at least the defense won’t be certain what he will do. It might be a good play... or it might not. If the ball goes to Hedo, and he’s behind the three-point line, it’s going up and very possibly in. Hedo was always good at hitting threes, just not really good at much else while on the Suns. Of this group, once again the center position is fairly strong offensively. Monroe was a highly skilled scorer near the basket and a very solid rebounder. Defense was a challenge for him though and he wasn’t a rim protector by any stretch of the imagination.

And finally...

The Coaches

Every team needs not only a head coach but a coaching staff. It was obvious that both Watson (HC) and Hunter (lead assistant) were in over their heads on the sidelines when they had the hotseat. They wouldn’t likely have any more success with this group but who else would take this job with this roster? Maybe not even them.

Well, there you have it, the Phoenix Suns All-Halloween Scream Team. Scary and thankfully - like most of the typical Halloween ghosts, ghouls and goblins - only a figment of our combined imaginations.

Have a Happy Halloween and a Happy 2019-20 NBA Season, Suns fans!

And try not to ever think of this team again... especially right before bedtime.

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