NBA fans lied to us about how they would react to getting dunked on

A dunk is one of the most visceral athletic feats that happens in any sport. The ability to get all the way up to the hoop and slam the ball in is everything that is cool and exciting about basketball. Add in the fact that a lot of dunks feature one guy going straight at another guy and embarrassing him, and it’s no wonder we all gravitate toward dunks.

Dunks are like if you combined a stiff arm and Hail Mary touchdown into one simultaneous play on the basketball court. We love them.

So SB Nation’s FanPulse surveys this week set out to gauge how the typical NBA fan would react to getting dunked on.

A disclaimer: This is all BS.

Because of the nature of our feelings about dunks (discussed above), really the only thing the FanPulse poll can truly reveal is how NBA fans think they would reach to a dunk. Or, how they would want to react.

But how most NBA fans would actually react to a hyperathletic scorer running full steam ahead straight at them, leaping all the way up above their head, and scoring literally on top of them — is to cower and fume. Or, as these results put it, get “biggly mad.”

Is this a joke? Nearly SEVENTY PERCENT of you guys said you would just walk it off? Come on. NBA players who’ve dealt with this possibility their whole lives blush, get angry, start fights, or yell for a foul. Rarely will you see these guys “walk it off.” But you would?

Also, praising the dunker is legitimately out of the realm of possibility. I saw Ja Morant stuff it on Aron Baynes’ head this season in-person and I can tell you for sure that the first thought in Baynes’ mind was not, “Ah, good one, kid. Bright future ahead of you!”

The first thought was more like, “Damn that’s about to be all over the internet, and everyone in this building already saw me get posterized, let me real quick make it seem like there was a charge or something on the play so it’s not quite so bad.”

And I’m not even blaming Baynes or anyone else who is on the wrong side of a slam. It’s human nature. That’s why I refuse to believe anyone would truly walk it off or praise the dunker. It’s throwing hands or arguing. No in between.

FanPulse as always also polled you guys specifically here at Bright Side regarding your confidence in the direction of the franchise, and surprisingly, it’s still mostly positive.

I think that’s totally fair. The playoffs might be out of reach for now, but generally, Devin Booker, Deandre Ayton, Kelly Oubre Jr., Mikal Bridges and Cameron Johnson have all developed this season. The young core still looks like a winning bunch, and the Suns have cap space and all their own draft picks going forward.

No need to panic.