Forbes finds Phoenix fiscally flush

Losing on the court has been a common theme for the last decade of Phoenix Suns basketball. So too has been making a crap-ton of cash off the hardwood.

This week we were treated to Forbes annual report of NBA valuations. The report confirmed that NBA teams are worth a lot of money.

The Suns are valued at $1.625 billion, the 17th highest number in the Association. Here is what the nerds at Forbes had to say:

It has been a decade since the Suns made the playoffs, and things are only getting worse. Phoenix posted the worst record in the NBA over the past four years, and those seasons have been the four worst in franchise history since the team’s inaugural 1968-69 campaign. The formerly rabid fan base is fed up. TV ratings for games on FS Arizona plummeted 34% last year and ranked fifth worst in the NBA. Attendance at Talking Stick Resort Arena fell 10%, and only the Nets drew fewer fans during the 2018-19 season. The arena is undergoing a $230 million renovation expected to be completed ahead of the 2021-22 season.

Harsh words, Forbes. Harsh, terribly accurate words.

While the Suns’ value jumped 8% from a year ago, they’re still significantly behind the league average of $2.123 billion.

Every team jumped at least 6%. The Toronto Raptors were the biggest gainer, shooting up 25% to $2.1 billion.

So, I know what you’re thinking. The Raptors just won the championship! So winning, is good! Winning is money! Right? Right?

The New York Knicks top the list. The New York F***ing Knicks.

Would you like the entire list? Here is the entire list:

#1 New York Knicks $4.6 B

#2 Los Angeles Lakers $4.4 B

#3 Golden State Warriors $4.3 B

#4 Chicago Bulls $3.2 B

#5 Boston Celtics $3.1 B

#6 Los Angeles Clippers $2.6 B

#7 Brooklyn Nets $2.5 B

#8 Houston Rockets $2.475 B

#9 Dallas Mavericks $2.4 B

#10 Toronto Raptors $2.1 B

#11 Philadelphia 76ers $2 B

#12 Miami Heat $1.95 B

#13 Portland Trail Blazers $1.85 B

#14 San Antonio Spurs $1.8 B

#15 Sacramento Kings $1.775 B

#16 Washington Wizards $1.75 B

#17 Phoenix Suns $1.625 B

#18 Denver Nuggets $1.6 B

#19 Milwaukee Bucks $1.58 B

#20 Oklahoma City Thunder $1.575 B

#21 Utah Jazz $1.55 B

#22 Indiana Pacers $1.525 B

#23 Atlanta Hawks $1.52 B

#24 Cleveland Cavaliers $1.51 B

#25 Charlotte Hornets $1.5 B

#26 Detroit Pistons $1.45 B

#27 Orlando Magic $1.43 B

#28 Minnesota Timberwolves $1.375 B

#29 New Orleans Pelicans $1.35 B

#30 Memphis Grizzlies $1.3 B

Thank you in advance for not explaining to me the different between valuation and actual liquidity. I had an alliteration itch, and I scratched it in the headline.

You can read more here.