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The Madhouse: Week of 5/15 - Suns Swag 10-pack

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Unsure of what to do with that stimulus check? Probably not. But you could do a lot worse than this Phoenix Suns crap on eBay.

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Russian markets begin the day with losses Photo by Sefa Karacan/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

Firstly:

What I’m listening to: DragonForce - The Power Within

What I’m watching: 90 Day Fiance

What I’m reading: The Dew Breaker, Edwidge Danticat

What I’m playing: Nintendo Switch - Riddled Corpses EX Xbox One - Streets of Rage 4, Forza 4

Now here is some Suns crap on the internet.

  1. Nike Authentic Dream Team II Charles Barkley Blue Jersey Sz XL USA Olympic Rare

It has been a great many years since I purchased a jersey that was not a Vegas Golden Knights jersey. Once upon a time I bought. A lot. Often. I was the guy getting the bootleg jerseys from China and posting them on Craigslist. When Manny Ramirez as traded to the Dodgers? MAN. We cleaned up.

I don’t remember a lot of people asking for Dream Team II jerseys. Probably because they were not Dream Team I jerseys. In any event, they were produced. We know that much. And they are on eBay.

If you are concerned with Barkley’s numbers during the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and why wouldn’t you be, Chuck averaged 12.4 points and 6.6 rebounds, leading the Americans in both categories. The U.S. team won gold, and was promptly forgotten.

Seller says the jersey has been worn ‘1 time in 5-10 years.’ Shipping is free and the asking price is THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS? Time to lowball or find phone China’s number.

2. PHOENIX SUNS ADIDAS NBA E LEAGUE /VIDEO GAME STITCHED BASKETBALL JERSEY MENS 56

I don’t even know what I’m looking at. What am I looking at? Tell me what I’m looking at.

OH IT’S A VIDEO GAME THING. I should have read the title. I looked at the picture first and thought that it was one of those NBA Entertainment League deals. Do you remember that? Is that still a thing? I did a Google search. The first thing that comes up is an article from 2008. So that doesn’t seem promising.

No, this is the NBA 2K league. As much as I love video games, this is something I just can’t seem to get into.

NO. IT IS NOT. It is in fact from the NBA Entertainment League. I’m sure of it. I’m figuring all of this out in real time so bear with me.

I can’t figure out who wore this. It’s probably nobody you’ve ever heard of. Like a key grip or something. I don’t even know what a key grip does.

50 chicken sandwiches and another 10 to ship.

3. Cheap Bobbleheads

They’re out there. And they fit into your budget. Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. Weird times.

a. NBA NIB Alvan Adams Phoenix Suns BobbleHead | 2008 | Box Damage

Twelve bucks, after shipping. What do you care about the box? You’re going to put it on your desk to command respect.

b. Phoenix Suns 2008 Dick Van Arsdale Bobblehead- Collectors 40yr Anniv New

12.74 after shipping. That’s 1% of your stimulus check. You know what, scratch that, I don’t care if you buy it or not.

4. Phoenix Suns Player Nash Bledsoe Barkley Stoudemire Shaq Prints Bobblehead Art

I stared at these for awhile, listening to DragonForce and trying to figure out Bitcoin, unsure of whether or not I liked the prints. I decided I did. Seller’s description:

I have over 100 different player prints.

Dr. J, Allen Iverson, Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Magic Johnson, Shaq, Kobe Bryant, Wilt, Kareem, Shawn Kemp, Steph Curry, James Harden, Draymond Green, Klay Thompson, Mitch Richmond, Tim Hardaway, Chris Mullin, Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, Anthony Davis, Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, T-Mac, Kevin Love, John Wall, Bradley Beal, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Gordon Hayward, Kawhi Leonard, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Rajon Rondo, Paul Peirce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Dirk Nowitzki, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Blake Griffin DeAndre Jordan, Damian Lillard, LaMarcus Aldridge, Marc Gasol, Mike Conley, Zach Randolph, DeMarcus Cousins, Rudy Gay, Chris Webber, any player you can think of .........

if there is a player (or players) you are looking for, please contact me.

The price is for ONE (1) 11”x17”print.

After purchase, indicate which print you would like at check out.

Take a look at my other listings. I have several other players and teams. Can do custom as well.

Discount for multiple orders.

These poster are perfect for anyone’s office, man cave or home. Great prints to help display a fan’s bobblehead collection or framed Jersey.

This print has a white border and is ready for framing.

High Quality photo paper and printing.

I can Make custom prints, any player on any team.

Fourteen bucks each. Is that worth my time? Probably. I’d like know how many Zach Randolph and Rudy Gay prints have been sold.

5. Phoenix Suns Vintage 1990’s Christmas Tie Win,lose, Or Tie Handmade Silk

I went to a Catholic high school. So I had a lot of ties. A lot of sports ties. A lot of Phoenix Suns ties.

But I did not have a tie like this.

The Suns Gorilla, as Santa, is dunking a basketball, and shattering a backboard, suspended by ???, while a Christmas tree adorned with the jerseys of what appears to be the 1993-94 floats above the entire disturbing?, encouraging?, inspiring?, frightful? scene. I feel the poor structure of the preceding sentence accurately captures the chaos that is depicted on the tie.

Twelve bucks after shipping if you want to be taken seriously once your business opens up again.

6. PHOENIX SUNS DAN MAJERLE FIGURE 1995 STARTING LINEUP KENNER

There’s nothing particularly special about this. You can find dozens, hundreds, BILLIONS of them on eBay. All eras. All players. All prices. All conditions.

But the warmups?

What was that discussion like?

Jeff in marketing: “We’ve captured all the stars. I think it’s time that we expand into the number twos and number threes on some of these teams.”

Scott in marketing: “Hmmmm. Vernon Maxwell?”

Jeff: “Not bad.”

Scott:Dan Majerle?”

Jeff: “Perfect!’

Scott: “We can depict Majerle hitting six threes against in the Bulls in Game 3 of the 1993 NBA Finals!”

Jeff: “Or even better, we can depict Majerle getting ready to hit six threes against the Bulls in Game 3 of the 1993 NBA Finals!”

Scott: “.....”

This one is about 15 bucks after shipping.

7. Phoenix Suns Collectable Glassware

I love stuff like this.

What better way to debate what could have been with Marquese Chriss, or Dragan Bender, or Alex Len, or, you know what it’s a long list, than by enjoying a Michelob Ultra in your very own Paul Westphal or Dick Van Arsdale collectible glass?

And the price is right. Six bones after shipping!

8. Hopi Kachina of Charles Barkley an All-Star of the Phoenix Suns by Ivan Wytewa

This is very, very cool. Any description I give will be unfair, so I’ll defer to the seller.

This is unique kachina carved in the clown style featuring “Charles Barkley #34” of the Phoenix Suns,

shooting an All-Star Basketball while playing in one of his many All-Star games.

He is a wearing a Suns jersey and shorts with a loincloth in front of the shorts

His left foot has a Nike shoe on and his right foot is wearing a moccasin.

The Kachina Clown appears to be carved out of one piece of cottonwood with the base being attached after completion of the kachina doll.

It approximately measures 8-1/2” tall by 3-1/4”

wide by 3-1/2” deep overall

It is in great used condition

There is some earthquake putty on the bottom of the piece

(earthquake putty is widely used in California to prevent items from fall off a shelf)

Pleas note it is signed on the bottom by artist Ivan Wytewa

and carved into the side of the base ”Made in Arizona”

It’s not for everyone. Listed at $675, but the seller will hear offers.

9. Phoenix Suns NBA Miller Lite Veterans Memorial Colosseum Beer Bar Tap Handle

Straight from the Madhouse on McDowell, or so the seller claims. If so, you’re unlikely to find many out there, though they are in possession of two.

If Keith isn’t drinking Michelob Ultra or a fancier beer when the budget allows, he’s happy with Miller Lite. So this is an item I can get behind.

Hundred bucks after shipping.

10. Phoenix Suns Campbells Chunky Soup Clear Plastic Cup Mug - UNIQUE COLLECTIBLE

Huh?

14 bucks after shipping. See you next week.